One year Anniversary to me--To-day

Hii followers,

Today I write highly inspired and excited to write about my one year anniversary of moving to North Carolina.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. That day, June 9th, 2010, I had no fear. I had confidence, a dream, and a trusted Garmin--the three important ingredients of which I credit my success.

The fear did come though. The weeks of living in North Carolina without a job or even a call back. The days I spent in the library and coffee shops applying for job after job. The countless revisions of my resume and cover letter and with each revision--even small ones gave me confidence that that would be the perfect change--the catalyst for a call back. An interview.

The day my nephew was born 1800 miles away. The irrational fear that I will miss his entire life and still be unemployed. The fear of never getting a call back. That was real fear.

But mind over matter proved sufficient yet again. I didn't talk about my fears, I only stayed focused on my dream. I knew two things, I knew that my dream was real and I knew that I had X amount of dollars to spend before I would have to reevaluate my dream.

Despite no call backs, I was constantly inspired. Probably the height of inspiration in my life to date were the days, weeks, and months that my number was never called. My brain, my mind was clear and the inspiration seemed to come easily and from unpredictable sources. The billboard "Zero to Bachelors in 2.5," The bike rides on Duke Campus, the nacho, hot dog, and lemonade stand on the corner by DUMC, going to church in Downtown Durham to see several people rocking Duke T'shirts, the free summer league games at NC-Central where I saw Kyrie Irving, Plumlees, Ryan Kelly, Singler, Harrison Barnes---all inspired me. I knew my dream was real and it was evidenced by the constant forms of inspiration I experienced during my unemployment.

I knew on a Sunday that I would be called that week for an interview. I could see online that one of my applications was moved from "processed" to "Hiring manager review." I knew that my time was coming. I just knew it.

On a Tuesday I was called. I scheduled my interview for the first possibility. The Friday, 0830 before Forth of July weekend. I thought by taking the first possible choice would be taken well. As initiative. Only to hang up and go immediately to the library to read books on interviewing and job selection. The first chapter of the first book I read was all about scheduling an interview. And it had several tips. It did state that sometimes the job applicant does not have the choice of which interview spot to select but if you do (and I did) then it would be important to consider these tips. 1) Try not to schedule an interview first thing in the morning, during lunch, or late afternoon. (0830) Avoid Monday or Friday interviews (Friday). Avoid scheduling an interview on a holiday weekend (4th of July).

I successfully neglected to follow ANY of the recommendations as my interview was scheduled for 0830 on the Friday before 4th of July. Sigh.

Interview went really well despite my three strikes on scheduling it. I was prepared and excited. And at conclusion of the interview I was asked to schedule a time to shadow the department.

I shadowed. And was told that I would learn of my hire by July 26th. I planned that epic day. I told my family and friends that that was the day I was waiting for my entire life. It was a Tuesday. That day came and you can bet that my phone was in my hand the entire day. I felt ridiculous as I carried that phone around everywhere--sure that if I left it unattended for a minute, I would miss the call and miss my chance.

It rang only once but that is all that it needed too. I heard it ring, felt it vibrate, and before looking at the number, I planned my entire career at Duke, I could see the next 30 years, the promotions the experience, going back to school, getting my doctorate, becoming a professor at Duke, being a chair at Duke, raising a family at Duke, sending all my children to Duke and having a retirement party with all the tops at Duke---and my consolation prize= A 9 minute message from my mom. Disappointing to say the least.

I woke up the next day and I needed a break. I would not apply for any new jobs today. I would not think about the interview or all that went well or went bad. I needed a break.

I packed up my tent and my bike and drove to the beach. My phone rang again. My mom. I answered and could intensely hear my mom's support and concern. She knew that I didn't get the call the day before just because mom's know that stuff and I didn't call bragging about it. She said she didn't want to talk long but that she was just thinking of me and that she loved me and was praying for me...I remember feeling very satisfied with her call and really appreciating it. Though disappointed for sure.

Before she hung up---I got a beep. A 919 beep. They were calling! I told my mom that they were beeping in.

They offered me the job! They offered me the job! I called my mom back.

The rest is history. It has been by no stretch seamless but it's been possible. And I keep working hard. Keep learning. Keep trying new things. Keep looking for inspiration. Keep formulating new goals and new dreams.

People ask me a lot, what the hardest part was and today that question seems very simple. The hardest part was going from expert student and tech to novice nurse. (Patricia Benner is my nurse theorist idol and has a model from novice to expert that is very popular) And while I very much agree in all that she says in that model, I think--at least for me--it has been much harder going from expert to novice.

While I am very happy to have made it this year and have had the opportunities that I have had, I recognize, now, that I am still only 24 years old and don't have it all figured out. I have spent a lot of time on this dream and have some melt downs as far as what my next dream is. For today, my "Livin' the dream" story is just giving myself a shot. Putting myself in position to be successful. To be happy. To always recognize where there is potential and to seek it out. To keep a high threshold for risk.

I will leave Duke when I can get dressed, put my name badge on, and clock in, without smiling, without being inspired, without thinking, "dang, this is pretty cool."

And just like that...time for work now. Rockin' the Duke scrubs.

ak