Confidence, a ten letter word learned in elementary school

For many years now I have wondered why there is such a range of attitudes and beliefs in people today. More specifically why is there such a wide range of people and how can we all exists? Why, and how, are their serial killers and peacemakers? This question is a question I have looked to answer for the past five years. It started with the question, how can four girls be born to the same parents, grow up in the same house, and become so different?

I did not know how important this question would become to me, or how important it would be in my quest to make the world better, but after reading a book title "Journey of Mankind" by Stephen Oppenheimer I learned how important this would be and it offered my first big break, it validated that the question was important. Through the Journey of Mankind you learn the danger of when like species grow apart and adopt new attitudes. The reason behind this danger is competition and goal division. Furthermore when such a division, or range, of people coexist, the ability to control a population and "govern" a population is much more difficult, and even impossible. This is true today. It is impossible to control the population today. But why did this happen? And can we get back to creating common goals for people to live by? This happened naturally millions of years ago. It happened because when human life first developed, resources were scarce and it was truly "survival of the fittest." Humans set up human traps, competed for food, water, and survival. I can only imagine our first ancestors saying "Geeze, if there was just more berries and food, we could all get along. Today we have all of that, yet we do not all get along. WHY?

Now that my question was validated, I could move forward. I have this question on the top of every page in a notebook and have several ideas being influenced by experiences, literature, and the evolution of my own mind. My theory always was based on the idea that people must have been raised differently than me but to what extent I would have never imagined.

I had an AH HA moment this past week. My nephew, Judah, was born and my mind just happened to wander through the entire course of Emily and Jared's pregnancy and then the pregnancy that my own mom had with me and each of her kids. Then the pregnancies of many other people and a huge pattern was developed and I believe I have another huge lead in answering my initial question. Why is there such a range of attitudes and believes in people today?

This world can be sad if you let it. There is enough justification for any single one human to feel an "impending doom" sensation and to give up. There is evil and bad things happen. There is violence, hate, crime, and regardless of who you are, you are guaranteed to feel the affects of this at some point in your life. You will fail at least once, you will be hurt, you will be sad, you will be made fun of, ignored, judged, laid out, and challenged and these events don't make you special. Being made fun, hurt, or affected by hate and crime don't make you unique, it just makes you human. Despite the fact that your parents always told you that they never wanted to see you hurt or sad, they brought you into this world knowing that you would be. Emily and Jared knew before they got pregnant that despite how cute he is at birth, that he will face challenges throughout his life. He will fail, he will be made fun of, ignored, and judged, but they still wanted him.

Watching Emily prepare for the baby and grow more and more excited with each appointment, and with the passing of each uncomplicated day was joyful. I could, by no means, relate to how awesome it must be to have a baby grow inside of you, but I could feed off of the joy that I saw it bring her, Jared, and the rest of the family. Emily not only accepted the uncomfortable reality of having a baby inside her, but she embraced it. What a gift that is to a child, for someone to embrace you, before you were even viable. What a gift it is for a child to know that their parents accepted the world as it is and choose to bring you into it anyway. What a gift it is to come home to a place that is so prepared for you. How empowering it is for a child to know the you were worth the cost, you were worth the pain, you were worth every one of the five onzies that you soiled in one day. Mostly, how else can someone show you how much they believe in you than to willingly bring you into this world where evil is present, where bad things happen, where you will face challenges, failures, heartache, and self-doubt and believe you can meet these challenges? Emily and Jared have already given that baby the greatest gift, a gift that without, he would be nothing, confidence.

Confidence, a ten letter word learned in elementary school, but without it, you have nothing. You will not live the way I live, you will not experience the success I do. You will not have meaningful relationships instead you will be what I fear. You will commit crimes, you will judge, you will bully, you will try to take me out, you will represent the evil in the world.

It is coming together now. Preparing for the life of a new being is the BEST way to offer the world "another one for the good guys." But how many people, how many babies are born without that? So many. So many. So many evidenced by crime, overcrowded prisons, serial killers, rapist, and hatred and victims of self abuse and domestic abuse. These people don't have confidence because if they did they wouldn't feel the sensation of "impending doom," they wouldn't rely on hurting others for personal gain. They wouldn't commit hate crimes.

I think America is taking the wrong approach and not being proactive enough in regards to screening each parent before they take that baby home. We think that it will just magically grow up and be successful? How are we going to just give out the monetary needs to these people who did not prepare for their child and expect that child to be something better? I used to think that if I could talk to high school and college kids I could persuade them to work hard and be productive, I used to think that if we gave people opportunities, they would take them and grow but this isn't true. We, America, offer food stamps, education, diapers, clothes, and toys which are all ok but until we give our children the confidence to succeed, they won't and the huge range of people will continue to exist and continue to worsen the strength of this world.

I could go on forever, but trying to organize my thoughts now seem to be difficult. I just think that this whole confidence thing is so important because it is inevitable that we will face challenges but what do we do with those challenges? What do we start with? What can we always go back to? What is undebatable? For me, I faced many challenges growing up, and when self doubt entered my head, I had a counter attack, I had confidence. I could say that I know, no matter what I do and what happens, that I have at least two people who believed in me before I was viable. I know that I am Angela Kinney and I am here today. I think if each people had just that, we would be in much, much better shape and perhaps then, we could work on getting them toys, and other extra things.

AK