Her messages are so annoying that it is almost worth answering the phone...yeah, its that bad. And what I don't get, most of all, is why she does this. I have learned not to even listen them and she asks why. Truth is, I can't listen to them most of the time. The messages are so long that I not only need a full battery to listen to the whole thing but I need to be in that perfect 4x4 area that receives a perfect signal. Also I don't listen to them because her messages have no objective. They are defined by at least 20 pointless sentences and inspired by no importance.
Now I do love my mom, like I said she is a nice enough lady, one couldn't hate her. But please, let me entertain you with an example of one message she left the other day and I did listen to.
First of all, she always starts the message with the sound of her yawning. I don't get that. It could be 6am, 2pm, or 10pm and I always get her yawning. ("AHHH ahh, uhh, ahh") Hi Ang this is mom, just was thinking about you. (Hard for me to believe, sounds more like she was just thinking about going to bed and wanted to get her word count in for the day and choose me as the victim)
It's about 2 pm our time, which I guess is about 3pm your time. Your probably out doing something but I'm just here thinking about you. (Ok,mom I appreciate the lesson on central time versus eastern time but come on, once is enough...you do not have to provide me with such obvious information EVERY TIME you call, and no, actually, I am doing nothing. I heard my phone, saw it was you, and deliberately choose not not answer knowing you will leave me this 6 minute message)
I visited grandma this morning. She seems to be doing well, and asked about you, I told her that you were doing good and liking NC so far. She said that is great. I went to Hy-Vee today, bought a few groceries. (Yup, mom, thats about what one would expect when someone says that they were to a GROCERY STORE) Laura just left to see a movie. I am not sure what movie but she went with a few friends. Dad is just working downstairs. I read a great book on the deck this morning. I think you would like it. Oh dang, now I can't remember what it was called. Let me look here and find it. I know just right where I left it. Ok, lets see here, not in the kitchen, well maybe I left it in my bedroom, hm, no not in my room, well dang, it was great and I know you would like it. (OK, now do you see what I mean? She doesn't leave messages, she leaves a detailed step by step of what she did/is doing. I mean I literally walked through the house with her looking for this great book that she does not remember the title of. I don't mind my mom calling, I know she cares about me, but come on, don't drag me through the day. Have some sort of objective or goal for your message)
Dang, that just makes me so mad about that book. Dad must have picked it up when he cleaned the kitchen after making chicken. (NO, dad did not touch your stupid book...see, now at this point I am getting annoyed with her message but am to invested to hang up now, knowing that if I don't listen through the whole thing and delete it, it will stay on my phone and when I want to listen to an important message, I will have to listen to this 6 min. pointless message ALL.....OVER.....AGAIN)
The chicken was very good. Not over done, just perfect. We had a salad and baked potato with it, which was all very good. You would have liked it. Well maybe you wouldn't have liked the salad because we had mushrooms on it, but you could have picked the mushrooms off if you wanted I suppose. (Great info. mom, why did you call again? OH, your getting the the point? Yes? Maybe? PLEASE GOD)
"AHH, YAAA, AHH" (yawning again) Well I better let you go now (YA THINK?, I'm exhausted now too). Just give us a call whenever you get a chance. We'll be looking forward to when you visit. Ok, love ya. Bye...(SWEET press 7 delete!) .....Oh one more thing babe (Knew it wasn't over...I JUST KNEW IT) I am just up here in the family room trying to find my show. (WHAT SHOW, I am thinking)...Ok, hmm...I thought it was on channel 8 but its not..maybe 13, let me see here. Hm..it must not be on tonight, thats a bummer. Well alright, bye Ang, love ya. DONE. IT's OVER. and it is at this point that I promise myself that from now on, I will answer the phone every time she calls to avoid this.....And I remain firm on my promise....UNTIL she calls again.
Ha, it is true though, I love my mom but also thought this was perfect "blog material"
ak
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