The average American child spends 25,920 hours in school, 18,396 hours watching TV, and 41,326 hours participating in an organized function whether it be sports practice/games, music, art, chorus. These are significant numbers, majority of one's life is spent in school, watching TV, or participating in an organized activity all because we have a fantastic thirst for knowledge. A lot of people, especially kids, say to me that they hate school or that they hate learning yet you ask them why they like to watch TV and they say it is fun and exciting. It is at this time that I watch them control the remote, flipping anxiously, disappointed at some channels and excited about others, these kids have no time for commercials--often saving several channels on their remote to promote optimal timing and to ensure only little distraction of commercials. I have to ask, why? Why not that channel kid? I've seen that one before! AH HA....case closed you do like to learn, you avoid watching shows that you have already seen because it is boring, predictable, and not exciting...same with school. The kids are now lost and I am about to win the world's worst babysitter award but I found this fascinating and exciting to me. Everyday I learn something new and I teach something to someone...it's a balance between learning and teaching. This blog is composed of things that I have learned in my life that I feel are worth teaching.....They are in no particular order of importance.
1) Grilled cheese should always be made with 1.25-1.5 pieces of cheese (depending on how large the piece of bread is) but never should it be insulted with only one piece of cheese.
2) You can assume with 100% confidence that a mean person is an unhappy person.
3) Spend less money than you make, always.
4) The only way to achieve a maximum life is to be challenged to do so.
5) Own all of your decisions that you make, whether they are good or bad, own them without making excuses for them. An honest and real person is always easier to understand and forgive than one who makes a career out of making excuses.
6) Work hard to find a balance between logic and dreams.
7) Spend time with yourself, learn about yourself, learn why you make the decisions you do.
8) Remember that your reputation can kill you whereas your identity can save you so keep a close eye on both and be prepared to make frequent adjustments and changes.
9) Recognize where you are in everything you do...know where you fit between novice and expert.
10) Going from novice to expert is much easier than expert to novice...be aware of that and the challenges that can trip you.
11) Study something that isn't part of the curriculum.
12) When facing a hard decision to make, stop!, sit down for 5-8 minutes and think about what YOUR goals are for the decision you are about to make..that will usually help you make an agreeable decision happen.
13) Never go more than 6 months without seeing your family. More than a month without talking to them or more than a day without thinking about them.
14) Write out 100 goals for your life. They can range from simple, short-term, and probable, to long-term and not so probable. I did this and one of my goals was to own a yellow submarine=not probable but it is still fun to know that you think enough of yourself to have goals for your life.
15) If you don't make a decision because you feel that someone in particular will judge you for it....go up to that person and ask them what they think about on a daily basis....I guarantee you they will not include you.
16) Find 10 things that you enjoy that are under $5 and treat yourself to one of them every week, 2 of them on a stressful week, 3 of them on busy week, 4 of them during break up week, 5 of them during finals week and all 10 of them on pay day :-)
17) If you are a gum chewer, always buy it in 3-packs.
18) Clean your car out at least every 2 weeks. I mean vacuum, armor-oil, windex, the works!
19) Make it an expectation to be punctual. Don't conform into the "fashionably late" class.
20) Finally remember this very real phenomena: You already survived the most traumatic experience one can go through, birth! So be proud of that and live without waiting for something to live for.
ak is out.....It be a perfect weathered Sunday in downtown Durham. I am enjoying 2 of my favorite under $5 dollar treats...a blueberry scone and a black coffee. I walk up and down 9th street without a single expectation. I wear recycled shoes, blue jeans, t-shirt and cardigan and accessorize myself with a scarf and sunglasses. I rock my Duke backpack per usual as it is a vital part of my survival right after airway, breathing, and circulation comes Duke backpack. Enjoy this day and perhaps entertain me when things that you have learned in your life that are worth teaching! Good day ya'l.
AK
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Help eradicate losers
Do you know someone who always looks tired? Consistently looks stressed out? Makes an obnoxious "Sign" every time you ask them how they are doing? People that make a career out of being miserable or just a career out of getting attention? I mean how do some people act so overwhelmed before their day even starts? That is totally predetermined and you should not play into that. Tell those people, tomorrow, to get over it and to stop being annoying.
Do you have skinny friends who always say they are fat? Tell them they are fat.
Do you have friends who tell you that their friends are jealous of them because they are prettier? Tell your friend that they're not jealous and if your really into it, tell that person that they really aren't that pretty.
Do you have friends that think every boy they see is hitting on them? Tell your friend they are not hitting on you.
If you follow this advice, it will not be long before you are free. You will all of a sudden have more time for yourself and you will feel fantastic. If you do this, you will feel like you make a difference and that you are a unique person. If you follow my advice you will never have to deal with annoying co-workers/friends/classmates or acquantances who always look stressed no matter how early it is into their day. If you follow my advice you your friends won't tell you that they look fat because they know you won't give them the answer they are really looking for. Furthermore if you follow my advice you will free yourself from dealing with a lot of immature, self-absorbed, snotty people all the while adding less fuel to their fire. People who do this should not exist but they always will if us nice folks buy into their ridiculous and pathetic lives.
Do you have skinny friends who always say they are fat? Tell them they are fat.
Do you have friends who tell you that their friends are jealous of them because they are prettier? Tell your friend that they're not jealous and if your really into it, tell that person that they really aren't that pretty.
Do you have friends that think every boy they see is hitting on them? Tell your friend they are not hitting on you.
If you follow this advice, it will not be long before you are free. You will all of a sudden have more time for yourself and you will feel fantastic. If you do this, you will feel like you make a difference and that you are a unique person. If you follow my advice you will never have to deal with annoying co-workers/friends/classmates or acquantances who always look stressed no matter how early it is into their day. If you follow my advice you your friends won't tell you that they look fat because they know you won't give them the answer they are really looking for. Furthermore if you follow my advice you will free yourself from dealing with a lot of immature, self-absorbed, snotty people all the while adding less fuel to their fire. People who do this should not exist but they always will if us nice folks buy into their ridiculous and pathetic lives.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Risk verses benefit, update
Hi everybody. Though it may seem like I have ignored my blog, the real truth is, I have not, I am constantly thinking of things to blog about and it just so happens that I have not met my next blog material. I choose to blog today not because I am overwhelmingly inspired to but because I do some some positive updates.
July 26th at 1302 a fantastic dream of mine became true and I was offered a job at Duke University Medical Center or DUMC. I asked no questions, consulted nobody, and said yes. I spent the following days collecting Duke paraphernalia and reading everything I could on oncology and radiology.
During my study breaks I thought a lot about my dreams versus goals and how they relate to what I am experiencing now. After some thought I determined that goals are mostly self inflicted and self driven. I believe that most goals only require one resource, yourself. I differentiate this from dreams in the very real sense that my dream of working at Duke required many resources. It was not entirely up to just me, I had to convince several people en route to working at Duke that I would be a good addition and that I should be hired. I had to have a lot of things go right which is why dreams are much harder to pursue and to obtain.
I do have a large threshold when it comes to risk, about 70%. That meaning that whenever I want to do something, I will as long as there is less than a 70% chance that I will fail. During my two day solo drive to North Carolina I recorded myself being "real" and saying exactly what I planned to do. I had X amount of money and a 6 month lease obligated to me and I promised myself that when the money was gone and I still did not have a job then I would pack my stuff up and go back to DSM and start over.
I think taking risks are fun--without taking risks you will never be the hero, you'll never reach your maximum potential and you will always wake up disappointed that you were having a dream rather than living it. Some of you 13 followers are probably thinking, whatever, I am living the dream and I didn't have to move half way across the country to obtain my dream and I can agree with you, your dreams are different than mine which is awesome. If your dream is to have kids and you have kids then your exactly right but don't ignore the risk you had to take to follow that dream. This is supposed to empower you all, not tell you how awesome I am...I feel like I have to explain that a lot to people. The real point here is that everybody takes risk so own the risk you take, acknowledge them and embrace them.
Ok, I wil end with a small scale example. I was in the airport a couple months ago and I sat across from an asian man who was sleeping. I noticed him waking up every 10-15 minutes and look frantically at his watch when he was satisfied with the time, he fell back asleep. While he was asleep I heard on the loud speaker "Traveler Myung Soo Kim last call, Myung Soo Kim please report to terminal C12...Last call Myung Soo Kim." I could not help but think that maybe the oriental man sleeping across from me was Myung Soo Kim. I thought about it for a few seconds before I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he was Myung Soo Kim because they just announced last call for boarding. He looked completely weirded out and said in perfect english "My name is Alex Hansen you stereotypical idiot." I was not embarrassed, perhaps I should of been though. But I just explained to him my theory of risk versus benefit and how I was prepared to hear exactly what he said and I was also prepared to be the hero. He accepted my explanation and apologized for calling me a stereotypical idiot. We ended up talking for the next half an hour.
Update success...later people.
July 26th at 1302 a fantastic dream of mine became true and I was offered a job at Duke University Medical Center or DUMC. I asked no questions, consulted nobody, and said yes. I spent the following days collecting Duke paraphernalia and reading everything I could on oncology and radiology.
During my study breaks I thought a lot about my dreams versus goals and how they relate to what I am experiencing now. After some thought I determined that goals are mostly self inflicted and self driven. I believe that most goals only require one resource, yourself. I differentiate this from dreams in the very real sense that my dream of working at Duke required many resources. It was not entirely up to just me, I had to convince several people en route to working at Duke that I would be a good addition and that I should be hired. I had to have a lot of things go right which is why dreams are much harder to pursue and to obtain.
I do have a large threshold when it comes to risk, about 70%. That meaning that whenever I want to do something, I will as long as there is less than a 70% chance that I will fail. During my two day solo drive to North Carolina I recorded myself being "real" and saying exactly what I planned to do. I had X amount of money and a 6 month lease obligated to me and I promised myself that when the money was gone and I still did not have a job then I would pack my stuff up and go back to DSM and start over.
I think taking risks are fun--without taking risks you will never be the hero, you'll never reach your maximum potential and you will always wake up disappointed that you were having a dream rather than living it. Some of you 13 followers are probably thinking, whatever, I am living the dream and I didn't have to move half way across the country to obtain my dream and I can agree with you, your dreams are different than mine which is awesome. If your dream is to have kids and you have kids then your exactly right but don't ignore the risk you had to take to follow that dream. This is supposed to empower you all, not tell you how awesome I am...I feel like I have to explain that a lot to people. The real point here is that everybody takes risk so own the risk you take, acknowledge them and embrace them.
Ok, I wil end with a small scale example. I was in the airport a couple months ago and I sat across from an asian man who was sleeping. I noticed him waking up every 10-15 minutes and look frantically at his watch when he was satisfied with the time, he fell back asleep. While he was asleep I heard on the loud speaker "Traveler Myung Soo Kim last call, Myung Soo Kim please report to terminal C12...Last call Myung Soo Kim." I could not help but think that maybe the oriental man sleeping across from me was Myung Soo Kim. I thought about it for a few seconds before I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he was Myung Soo Kim because they just announced last call for boarding. He looked completely weirded out and said in perfect english "My name is Alex Hansen you stereotypical idiot." I was not embarrassed, perhaps I should of been though. But I just explained to him my theory of risk versus benefit and how I was prepared to hear exactly what he said and I was also prepared to be the hero. He accepted my explanation and apologized for calling me a stereotypical idiot. We ended up talking for the next half an hour.
Update success...later people.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
1, 2, 3...A,B,C...Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas
Patterns. Patterns are critical. Patterns are predictable, scientific, reliable, and play a very important role in all life. I think all humans pick up on patterns as infants subconsciously but when and if you ever bring the patterns you witness to a conscious level of thinking, I am certain your life will change and you will become closer to your optimal level of happiness.
I explained in my first blog that this blog is all about me and for me so I share this with all of you understanding that. I was a girl of pattern. I recognized patterns from a young age but never knew how to deal with them or why it would make a difference in my life. It started as a very innocent obsession, almost even expected, but it definitely changed my life.
At the beginning of every school year I would get an assignment notebook for school. Yes, it was on the required "supply list," but I never wrote a single assignment down instead at the bottom left of every single day, I wrote a number. A countdown to be specific. A countdown for Christmas, a countdown for my Birthday, a countdown for Spring Break and a countdown for summer break and each day I cross the day off and grow more and more excited for whichever event was nearing.
Much to my surprise, each event came and at the conclusion of the event, I would be sad. Now I use the word "sad" and you may all be thinking, "well duh, we're all sad that certain things come and go," but I was really sad. I remember becoming obsessed with the reality that, "this time yesterday it was Christmas and now it's gone," "this time yesterday my whole family was at my house and we were all having fun, ect. ect." The problem was I never felt like I had the right to be sad, I didn't realize all this until way after the fact but I remember, FOR SURE, not feeling like I could ever act sad. I was funny, happy-go-lucky, care-free, laid back, this was my reputation and I was not about to lose that. Nobody would ever know that I was sad, heck nobody would believe me even if I told them I was. So I pressed on.
I will say here that yes I was sad but not debilitated. I could move on and I did but I still could not help the way I felt and the obsession I had with trying to relive certain events with "this time yesterday, or this time last week..." This happened year after year. The sadness didn't though, I would get over it and get myself pumped up for the next big event. The even would come and almost immediately after..most of the time that same day, I would lay in bed after the exciting day and ruminate over the fact that its over and that this time yesterday it hadn't even started.
I also remember hearing these comments on a daily basis, "Not today Ang," "We'll have to think about it," "I'm not ready today," "Today isn't a good day," "Maybe tomorrow," "We're to busy today Ang," I accepted all of these, sometimes with a fight, but at the end of the day, I accepted them and just learned that, in more times than not, today was not a good day.
In high school I got my first job and learned a lot about money. Now if you know my dad, you know that all of us "Kinney girls" are survivors of several lectures and lessons regarding money. During this time I learned about credit cards and interest rates, promotions, marketing of financial schemes and these conversations all started and ended with doing NOTHING today. Don't pay for 90 days, 12 months no interest, No down payment, Pay nothing for 3 years, and the ever enticing, try the product for 30 days free.
Though these comments may seem unrelated, I promise, if you had your coffee today and can get through the entire blog, you will see how they relate.
I started realizing that it wasn't just me who often "wished away" days, but our entire society does this. We are all afraid of today. Nobody wants to make a decision today. Today is so close, so relevant, so near, so sudden and it is so uncomfortable for us. As a kid, an entire day is a long time and we think all decisions should be made within seconds but as we grow up we become so uncomfortable with the now that we simply put it off. We put it on credit cards, we put it on our "to do" list, we put it on our 5 year plan, we put it somewhere so that we don't have to think about it, not today.
We all watch the news, we all read the newspaper, we all understand that people are 100% healthy and get T-boned and die instantly. I have seen it in the ED when a patient walks in complaining of vague symptoms and goes pulseless while his wife parks the car. I talked to a guy at 3pm one day in April of 2005 only to hear on the 10 o'clock news that he died instantly on his motorcycle. But this time yesterday they were here, this time yesterday they were with their families, this time last week they were writing their "to do list," and saying to their kids, "not today honey."
Now I am not saying that we need to become compulsive and obsessed with the reality that today could be your last. I am, in no way, prepared to tell you that I "Live like I'm dying," despite the fact that I know I am as we all are. But can we learn from these patterns? Yes, I know we can because I have. I am not asking you or anyone to expect imminent death but what I can offer and can attest to is challenging yourselves to make time for today. Continue to be excited for the "big days" but be excited for today too. Find ways to make you happy today and not just the happy we all expect--but happy we don't expect.
I think we all let ourselves off the hook on this. I am pretty certain that you all are thinking "I am so happy to have my children here," or "I am so happy to have my husband," "I am so happy to have a job," "I am so happy to have friends, family, clothes, food." These are all good things, great things, I mean fantastic things that make us happy but they are expected of you and me. You expected to wake up today and have your kids there. You expect to go to bed and have your spouse there. You are expected to come home to a house and to have food in the kitchen to make dinner but the challenge is to find happiness in the unexpected things. This is a challenge because it makes us be aware, more conscious, more willing to slow down and see things the way they sit today. It challenges us to look at nature, strangers, and art and we don't have time for that....
Own today. Own your decisions that you make today. Instead of creating a massive "to do" list, DO the "to do list," and stop being scared of today. Today is a good day. Today is today. You have to be happy today even if today isn't Christmas or your birthday or your anniversary, or your wedding. Today IS valid and I promise if you are happy today you will be happy on Christmas and furthermore you won't be laying there in bed Christmas night saying to yourself, "this time yesterday."
I'm out peeps.
ak^3
I explained in my first blog that this blog is all about me and for me so I share this with all of you understanding that. I was a girl of pattern. I recognized patterns from a young age but never knew how to deal with them or why it would make a difference in my life. It started as a very innocent obsession, almost even expected, but it definitely changed my life.
At the beginning of every school year I would get an assignment notebook for school. Yes, it was on the required "supply list," but I never wrote a single assignment down instead at the bottom left of every single day, I wrote a number. A countdown to be specific. A countdown for Christmas, a countdown for my Birthday, a countdown for Spring Break and a countdown for summer break and each day I cross the day off and grow more and more excited for whichever event was nearing.
Much to my surprise, each event came and at the conclusion of the event, I would be sad. Now I use the word "sad" and you may all be thinking, "well duh, we're all sad that certain things come and go," but I was really sad. I remember becoming obsessed with the reality that, "this time yesterday it was Christmas and now it's gone," "this time yesterday my whole family was at my house and we were all having fun, ect. ect." The problem was I never felt like I had the right to be sad, I didn't realize all this until way after the fact but I remember, FOR SURE, not feeling like I could ever act sad. I was funny, happy-go-lucky, care-free, laid back, this was my reputation and I was not about to lose that. Nobody would ever know that I was sad, heck nobody would believe me even if I told them I was. So I pressed on.
I will say here that yes I was sad but not debilitated. I could move on and I did but I still could not help the way I felt and the obsession I had with trying to relive certain events with "this time yesterday, or this time last week..." This happened year after year. The sadness didn't though, I would get over it and get myself pumped up for the next big event. The even would come and almost immediately after..most of the time that same day, I would lay in bed after the exciting day and ruminate over the fact that its over and that this time yesterday it hadn't even started.
I also remember hearing these comments on a daily basis, "Not today Ang," "We'll have to think about it," "I'm not ready today," "Today isn't a good day," "Maybe tomorrow," "We're to busy today Ang," I accepted all of these, sometimes with a fight, but at the end of the day, I accepted them and just learned that, in more times than not, today was not a good day.
In high school I got my first job and learned a lot about money. Now if you know my dad, you know that all of us "Kinney girls" are survivors of several lectures and lessons regarding money. During this time I learned about credit cards and interest rates, promotions, marketing of financial schemes and these conversations all started and ended with doing NOTHING today. Don't pay for 90 days, 12 months no interest, No down payment, Pay nothing for 3 years, and the ever enticing, try the product for 30 days free.
Though these comments may seem unrelated, I promise, if you had your coffee today and can get through the entire blog, you will see how they relate.
I started realizing that it wasn't just me who often "wished away" days, but our entire society does this. We are all afraid of today. Nobody wants to make a decision today. Today is so close, so relevant, so near, so sudden and it is so uncomfortable for us. As a kid, an entire day is a long time and we think all decisions should be made within seconds but as we grow up we become so uncomfortable with the now that we simply put it off. We put it on credit cards, we put it on our "to do" list, we put it on our 5 year plan, we put it somewhere so that we don't have to think about it, not today.
We all watch the news, we all read the newspaper, we all understand that people are 100% healthy and get T-boned and die instantly. I have seen it in the ED when a patient walks in complaining of vague symptoms and goes pulseless while his wife parks the car. I talked to a guy at 3pm one day in April of 2005 only to hear on the 10 o'clock news that he died instantly on his motorcycle. But this time yesterday they were here, this time yesterday they were with their families, this time last week they were writing their "to do list," and saying to their kids, "not today honey."
Now I am not saying that we need to become compulsive and obsessed with the reality that today could be your last. I am, in no way, prepared to tell you that I "Live like I'm dying," despite the fact that I know I am as we all are. But can we learn from these patterns? Yes, I know we can because I have. I am not asking you or anyone to expect imminent death but what I can offer and can attest to is challenging yourselves to make time for today. Continue to be excited for the "big days" but be excited for today too. Find ways to make you happy today and not just the happy we all expect--but happy we don't expect.
I think we all let ourselves off the hook on this. I am pretty certain that you all are thinking "I am so happy to have my children here," or "I am so happy to have my husband," "I am so happy to have a job," "I am so happy to have friends, family, clothes, food." These are all good things, great things, I mean fantastic things that make us happy but they are expected of you and me. You expected to wake up today and have your kids there. You expect to go to bed and have your spouse there. You are expected to come home to a house and to have food in the kitchen to make dinner but the challenge is to find happiness in the unexpected things. This is a challenge because it makes us be aware, more conscious, more willing to slow down and see things the way they sit today. It challenges us to look at nature, strangers, and art and we don't have time for that....
Own today. Own your decisions that you make today. Instead of creating a massive "to do" list, DO the "to do list," and stop being scared of today. Today is a good day. Today is today. You have to be happy today even if today isn't Christmas or your birthday or your anniversary, or your wedding. Today IS valid and I promise if you are happy today you will be happy on Christmas and furthermore you won't be laying there in bed Christmas night saying to yourself, "this time yesterday."
I'm out peeps.
ak^3
Monday, August 2, 2010
Whhhammmy
Hi, couple things to "clean up" here, people keep suggesting that I write a book--a funny, inspirational book..well here's the deal people...I know for a fact that I will never be a best selling author. I know this for a few reasons.
1- I am not a pro athlete
2-I am not a wife of a political leader who cheated on me.
3- I was not abused as a child.
4- I did not get away with murder.
So back off, I will never be a best selling author...I'm not even a "best selling" blogger, I've had one comment in the last 18 post...I should be embarrassed. I should never sign on to this account again.
Second thing: Straight talk with AK----
People suggested to me that they could not move half way across the country w/o a job because their friends, family, co-workers, and peers would think that they were crazy....ok.
So we'll call this person GL. GL cannot change jobs, move to a different city, have a 5th baby, or go to the grocery store late at night because she is afraid of what people will think. Here is what I did for GL, I went to her parents and asked her mom what she thinks about everyday "Work, my sick mother, my anniversary coming up, selling the house, my grocery list, and what I will make for dinner." (Notice, she does not think about GL) Similar responses from her dad, her friends, and her co-workers....To sum it up..people don't think about you, people don't care what you do or how you do it..and if they are truly concerned for you, they are for, on average, 4 minutes at a time, those four minutes are commercial breaks, red lights, the period of time right before they fall asleep, and while they wait for their food at a restaurant. So just a lesson--if you find yourself holding back because you feel like people will think badly of you, DON'T, they are not only not thinking badly of you, they aren't thinking of you at all. Get over yourself and do something cool.
ak
1- I am not a pro athlete
2-I am not a wife of a political leader who cheated on me.
3- I was not abused as a child.
4- I did not get away with murder.
So back off, I will never be a best selling author...I'm not even a "best selling" blogger, I've had one comment in the last 18 post...I should be embarrassed. I should never sign on to this account again.
Second thing: Straight talk with AK----
People suggested to me that they could not move half way across the country w/o a job because their friends, family, co-workers, and peers would think that they were crazy....ok.
So we'll call this person GL. GL cannot change jobs, move to a different city, have a 5th baby, or go to the grocery store late at night because she is afraid of what people will think. Here is what I did for GL, I went to her parents and asked her mom what she thinks about everyday "Work, my sick mother, my anniversary coming up, selling the house, my grocery list, and what I will make for dinner." (Notice, she does not think about GL) Similar responses from her dad, her friends, and her co-workers....To sum it up..people don't think about you, people don't care what you do or how you do it..and if they are truly concerned for you, they are for, on average, 4 minutes at a time, those four minutes are commercial breaks, red lights, the period of time right before they fall asleep, and while they wait for their food at a restaurant. So just a lesson--if you find yourself holding back because you feel like people will think badly of you, DON'T, they are not only not thinking badly of you, they aren't thinking of you at all. Get over yourself and do something cool.
ak
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Obituary
I come to the computer tonight with a heavy heart. Unemployed Angela was declared dead today at 1302. The cause of death listed on her death certificate is a very rare condition called "Duke fever."
Unemployed AK had no enemies and will be missed by many. She will be missed for her laid-back, nonchalant attitude, her 24/7 availability, and her knack for looking busy when she had absolutely nothing to do. Do not be sad though my friends, I can tell you that unemployed AK spent her final days doing what she loves--riding her bike, staying up late, sleeping in, eating only snacks all day, watching documentaries, driving around aimlessly, being awkward in bars, blogging, playing her Wii and her board games. Unfortunately there was simply not enough free time, late nights, parties, vacations, snacks, video games, or reality TV to save her.
Though her death was not sudden. I can look back and pinpoint exactly when things began to look grim. Though unemployed AK's parents and siblings admit to noticing all the signs and symptoms of the rare Duke fever when she was young, they said that they never believed it would ultimately take her life.
"Looking back, I think I could have done more but all of her doctors/teachers/and friends assured us it would not be fatal and instead a phase that she was going through. As a mother, you just hope you are doing the right things but unemployed AK was so different from the other girls. She didn't take discipline, you could not tell the child no, she became obsessed with being the best, she was so competitive in everything....her dad and I even thought she had the ADD, never would we have guessed it would be the Duke fever."---unemployed AK's mom
All the signs where there but nothing could prepare her family for the series of events that would unravel starting in June. Her dad says that looking back, it was not until June when he realized that she was going downhill. "She refused to let her mom and I travel to NC with her and instead packed up her stuff and drove off to NC, I wish I could have said something but just by looking at her I knew that my words would not be heard, there was no telling her no at this point. It was this day when I knew we were going to lose her."
Things got worse, June 28th unemployed AK received a call and scheduled an appointment for July 2nd, Interview day. After the results came back from the interview and she was asked to come back the next week, I knew in my heart that she was gone. But still getting the official word is emotional and shocking.
Ha, hi guys just wanted to say that yes, all the rumors are true....I got a job at Duke University Medical Center in the oncology/radiology department....start date Aug. 16th!
Unemployed AK had no enemies and will be missed by many. She will be missed for her laid-back, nonchalant attitude, her 24/7 availability, and her knack for looking busy when she had absolutely nothing to do. Do not be sad though my friends, I can tell you that unemployed AK spent her final days doing what she loves--riding her bike, staying up late, sleeping in, eating only snacks all day, watching documentaries, driving around aimlessly, being awkward in bars, blogging, playing her Wii and her board games. Unfortunately there was simply not enough free time, late nights, parties, vacations, snacks, video games, or reality TV to save her.
Though her death was not sudden. I can look back and pinpoint exactly when things began to look grim. Though unemployed AK's parents and siblings admit to noticing all the signs and symptoms of the rare Duke fever when she was young, they said that they never believed it would ultimately take her life.
"Looking back, I think I could have done more but all of her doctors/teachers/and friends assured us it would not be fatal and instead a phase that she was going through. As a mother, you just hope you are doing the right things but unemployed AK was so different from the other girls. She didn't take discipline, you could not tell the child no, she became obsessed with being the best, she was so competitive in everything....her dad and I even thought she had the ADD, never would we have guessed it would be the Duke fever."---unemployed AK's mom
All the signs where there but nothing could prepare her family for the series of events that would unravel starting in June. Her dad says that looking back, it was not until June when he realized that she was going downhill. "She refused to let her mom and I travel to NC with her and instead packed up her stuff and drove off to NC, I wish I could have said something but just by looking at her I knew that my words would not be heard, there was no telling her no at this point. It was this day when I knew we were going to lose her."
Things got worse, June 28th unemployed AK received a call and scheduled an appointment for July 2nd, Interview day. After the results came back from the interview and she was asked to come back the next week, I knew in my heart that she was gone. But still getting the official word is emotional and shocking.
Ha, hi guys just wanted to say that yes, all the rumors are true....I got a job at Duke University Medical Center in the oncology/radiology department....start date Aug. 16th!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Can not help it.
Hi, I apologize for my latest obsession with the Onion and trying to be as create as the real Onion writers--Reading the Onion everyday is one of only two things that still makes it worth living, the second of course being the collaborative effort of chips + dip.
Alright, feels good to be just me again after all this blog is supposed to be all about me. My latest fixation is human behavior. I have learned that the first step in changing any particular behavior is first acknowledging it. Per text, I should be able to identify my negative behaviors and change them...well I'll tell you what this is the dumbest theory I have ever heard and I believe that I have single-handedly disproven this theory. Because I am so evidence-based, I will offer my evidence that will show you that this theory is not accurate.
Zits/pimples/acne/gross stuff on my face---Something I wake up to everyday. Now I am not the "pimply kid," and I certainly do not employee "lunch lady" acne---oh come on, you know...the skin tags...on the neck? What? were ya'l home schooled or something? This phenomena-this growing creature on my face is my first evidence: See I know I should not pick, obsess, worry, touch, apply makeup on, manipulate in any way, cover my face in ketchup, put peanut butter on my zits, or even allow myself to think about what is growing on my face. I have listened to more than one late night informercial related to skin care and know very well that I should not do ANYTHING besides clean my face. Well, I have a secret--I am confident that since the evolution of acne on my face, I have never had a zit that I was able to resist touching at least one during its existence. I know the behavior is wrong--I know it makes it worse but I cannot change it. In fact, I feel like ever since acknowledging this behavior, I've gotten worse...I will touch it and know its wrong, then I will try to destroy all evidence of me touching it so i'll apply foundation, then I'll realize that makes me look even worse, so I scrub the foundation off, while taking the foundation off, I irritate the skin around it and now its itching...I know I shouldn't touch it--but i'm not stopping now..fuck it, i've already relapsed and plus i'm on a mission--to disprove a theory. I scratch, scratch, scratch...awesome....now i'm bleeding, yes bleeding. Mission accomplished....take take psychotherapist....another one of the UN-EM-ployyyed.
Toothpaste---behavior: refusing to buy toothpaste unless I have already suffered from at least 3 episodes of severe hand cramps related to getting the last drop of toothpaste out of the tube and onto the brush. There is no reason I should ever find myself in this situation but I do...every time...can't change.
Scabs/callus/blister--Again, never had one of these that I have been able to leave alone and let heal in the appropriate fashion. Neosporin and a bandaid?.... Maybe for a minute and usually not before I do my own investigation on the injury. Can't change...Know its bad, acknowledge it, and can't do nothing about it.
Q-tips--weapons of mass ear drum destruction? Buy them in balk and use them daily, sometimes twice.
Speeding while driving? Dangerous. Related in 89% of fatal accidents. I know I shouldn't do it but I ALWAYS do it, well I follow the ABC rule...always besides cops. Can't change. I know its bad. I acknowledge the negative behavior.
Help me disprove this theory...think of at least one thing that you do, that you know you shouldn't, but you can't help. You can leave a comment, I promise the comment button won't bite, cause bodily harm, or initiate a virus on your system so don't be scared.
simple ak
Alright, feels good to be just me again after all this blog is supposed to be all about me. My latest fixation is human behavior. I have learned that the first step in changing any particular behavior is first acknowledging it. Per text, I should be able to identify my negative behaviors and change them...well I'll tell you what this is the dumbest theory I have ever heard and I believe that I have single-handedly disproven this theory. Because I am so evidence-based, I will offer my evidence that will show you that this theory is not accurate.
Zits/pimples/acne/gross stuff on my face---Something I wake up to everyday. Now I am not the "pimply kid," and I certainly do not employee "lunch lady" acne---oh come on, you know...the skin tags...on the neck? What? were ya'l home schooled or something? This phenomena-this growing creature on my face is my first evidence: See I know I should not pick, obsess, worry, touch, apply makeup on, manipulate in any way, cover my face in ketchup, put peanut butter on my zits, or even allow myself to think about what is growing on my face. I have listened to more than one late night informercial related to skin care and know very well that I should not do ANYTHING besides clean my face. Well, I have a secret--I am confident that since the evolution of acne on my face, I have never had a zit that I was able to resist touching at least one during its existence. I know the behavior is wrong--I know it makes it worse but I cannot change it. In fact, I feel like ever since acknowledging this behavior, I've gotten worse...I will touch it and know its wrong, then I will try to destroy all evidence of me touching it so i'll apply foundation, then I'll realize that makes me look even worse, so I scrub the foundation off, while taking the foundation off, I irritate the skin around it and now its itching...I know I shouldn't touch it--but i'm not stopping now..fuck it, i've already relapsed and plus i'm on a mission--to disprove a theory. I scratch, scratch, scratch...awesome....now i'm bleeding, yes bleeding. Mission accomplished....take take psychotherapist....another one of the UN-EM-ployyyed.
Toothpaste---behavior: refusing to buy toothpaste unless I have already suffered from at least 3 episodes of severe hand cramps related to getting the last drop of toothpaste out of the tube and onto the brush. There is no reason I should ever find myself in this situation but I do...every time...can't change.
Scabs/callus/blister--Again, never had one of these that I have been able to leave alone and let heal in the appropriate fashion. Neosporin and a bandaid?.... Maybe for a minute and usually not before I do my own investigation on the injury. Can't change...Know its bad, acknowledge it, and can't do nothing about it.
Q-tips--weapons of mass ear drum destruction? Buy them in balk and use them daily, sometimes twice.
Speeding while driving? Dangerous. Related in 89% of fatal accidents. I know I shouldn't do it but I ALWAYS do it, well I follow the ABC rule...always besides cops. Can't change. I know its bad. I acknowledge the negative behavior.
Help me disprove this theory...think of at least one thing that you do, that you know you shouldn't, but you can't help. You can leave a comment, I promise the comment button won't bite, cause bodily harm, or initiate a virus on your system so don't be scared.
simple ak
Monsanto and Tyson merge
Simple Onion
Today Monsanto, a U.S.-based multinational agricultural biotechnology corporation, declares its agreement with Tyson Foods, the world's largest processors and marketers of chicken, beef and pork.
The merge comes after an extensive three day study with one of Monsantos newest breed of seeds. They found that the new seed actually biochemically altered the genetic makeup of several chickens at one of Tyson's chicken farms. The seed specifically alters the chicken's heart--so much that they believe that the chicken's heart can be successfully transplanted into a human body.
Monsanto's general manager sits with us and states,"this is great news, a true revolution, a changing day in America." The three day study was so signficant that the FDA did not have to do any further research to approve the use of these chicken's hearts for human transplants.
A member of the FDA comments that, "It would be stupid to delay patient care by performing more research, plus it would cost a lot of money and it is possible with enough research, it would be determined that this would not save the lives of humans, and it would instead kill them. I mean face it, if you fight a good thing long enough, it could become bad and well I just don't think that is necessary. Plus, besides my responsibilities at FDA, I am also the president of Monsanto and I believe in the product and the research that has already been done."
It is expected that heart transplants could begin immediately, as soon as next week. To warn off speculation and concern, the citizens of the United States should know that extensive training will be offered to any and all surgeons before they are allowed to complete a transplant. Americans should be comforted that this training will consist of at one four hour online course and surgeons will not considered certified or competent until they complete the ten question multiple choice exam at the end of the presentation.
I caught up with one patient who has been on a heart transplant list for 17 hours and expected to die if he does not receive a heart within the next two days. His wife spoke for him. "I admit, I was a little skeptical at first but after hearing that the surgeons will have to take a training course and pass an exam certaintly erased all fear. I just want my husband back so when the story broke, I immediately contacted my husband's cardiologist and told him the story. He was immediately interested. Within minutes he was in my husband's room talking about the procedure. He is so dedicated, such a wonderful doctor and man. He said he would have to review the course and pass the exam before they would send him the chicken heart. Being the dedicated doctor he is, he immediately pulled his iPhone out and downloaded the course. Within minutes he was done and the chicken heart was on his way. Such a brilliant man, they said it would take hours. I asked him how he could read so fast, thinking he must have learned that in medical school. He said with a gentle smile, oh i'll never forget that smile, he downloaded the Monsanto App that would allow him to skip the course and only answer one question...this really allowed me to see how passionate this doctor was and how he really cared about saving my husband."
A Tyson rep humbly tells that us the original mission of Tyson was to offer poor people the opportunity to eat meat like the rich people. Now, we just keep growing and we can now offer poor people a heart transplant. This really does not go without a lot of hard work and dedication, I'm so proud of the industry and Monsantos willingness to bargain with us.
The official deal between Monsanto and Tyson is not all worked out yet but it will probably include an exchange of Tyson's new honey bar-b-qued wings. Neither part are concerned with the deal though, they are both just concerned with overtaking America's economy and being the only two companies in the world..."That would be awesome," the president of Monsanto tell us.
Today Monsanto, a U.S.-based multinational agricultural biotechnology corporation, declares its agreement with Tyson Foods, the world's largest processors and marketers of chicken, beef and pork.
The merge comes after an extensive three day study with one of Monsantos newest breed of seeds. They found that the new seed actually biochemically altered the genetic makeup of several chickens at one of Tyson's chicken farms. The seed specifically alters the chicken's heart--so much that they believe that the chicken's heart can be successfully transplanted into a human body.
Monsanto's general manager sits with us and states,"this is great news, a true revolution, a changing day in America." The three day study was so signficant that the FDA did not have to do any further research to approve the use of these chicken's hearts for human transplants.
A member of the FDA comments that, "It would be stupid to delay patient care by performing more research, plus it would cost a lot of money and it is possible with enough research, it would be determined that this would not save the lives of humans, and it would instead kill them. I mean face it, if you fight a good thing long enough, it could become bad and well I just don't think that is necessary. Plus, besides my responsibilities at FDA, I am also the president of Monsanto and I believe in the product and the research that has already been done."
It is expected that heart transplants could begin immediately, as soon as next week. To warn off speculation and concern, the citizens of the United States should know that extensive training will be offered to any and all surgeons before they are allowed to complete a transplant. Americans should be comforted that this training will consist of at one four hour online course and surgeons will not considered certified or competent until they complete the ten question multiple choice exam at the end of the presentation.
I caught up with one patient who has been on a heart transplant list for 17 hours and expected to die if he does not receive a heart within the next two days. His wife spoke for him. "I admit, I was a little skeptical at first but after hearing that the surgeons will have to take a training course and pass an exam certaintly erased all fear. I just want my husband back so when the story broke, I immediately contacted my husband's cardiologist and told him the story. He was immediately interested. Within minutes he was in my husband's room talking about the procedure. He is so dedicated, such a wonderful doctor and man. He said he would have to review the course and pass the exam before they would send him the chicken heart. Being the dedicated doctor he is, he immediately pulled his iPhone out and downloaded the course. Within minutes he was done and the chicken heart was on his way. Such a brilliant man, they said it would take hours. I asked him how he could read so fast, thinking he must have learned that in medical school. He said with a gentle smile, oh i'll never forget that smile, he downloaded the Monsanto App that would allow him to skip the course and only answer one question...this really allowed me to see how passionate this doctor was and how he really cared about saving my husband."
A Tyson rep humbly tells that us the original mission of Tyson was to offer poor people the opportunity to eat meat like the rich people. Now, we just keep growing and we can now offer poor people a heart transplant. This really does not go without a lot of hard work and dedication, I'm so proud of the industry and Monsantos willingness to bargain with us.
The official deal between Monsanto and Tyson is not all worked out yet but it will probably include an exchange of Tyson's new honey bar-b-qued wings. Neither part are concerned with the deal though, they are both just concerned with overtaking America's economy and being the only two companies in the world..."That would be awesome," the president of Monsanto tell us.
Monday, July 26, 2010
It wasn't supposed to be like this
It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't looking for a commitment, I didn't want anything long term. I had a simple need--a quest rather, and just one. I was looking for the one and done. I was looking to cheat the system when I approached you.
You offered yourself for free, no string attached, you said I could drop you whenever but now I can't. This isn't fair. My dad warned me about you but I believed I was strong. Heck, I'm Angela Kinney, the definition of independent, but you turned me into something else.
Your humor is second to none. The information you provide is like something I have never experienced. Your "thrill factor" is something I now find myself begging for. You now consume me, I think about you often, I can't wait until you show up the very next day. Despite these positive feelings I have for you, I'm stil mad. You changed me and thats not fair.
I used to be strong, independent, and unpredictible but you stripped me of all that and now I find myself weak to you, an inch worm at best. I know my feelings are true but I know you have other girls who are equally in love with you but you make me feel so special, so unique, you cater to my specific needs, you know me, you know what I like, what I don't like and you cater to that. I appreciate this but like I said, it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Everything about this is wrong. I don't have the time for you, I don't have the money for you, and I certaintly don't have the emotional support that I need to deal with all your drama, suspense, and horror. Your so wrong for me. Your Sci-Fi & fantasy is not real nor is it consistent with the way I live. Your dramatic and I'm not...see we're so incompatible so why is it that I find myself wanting you more and more? Maybe it's your convenience...I have needs and you meet them, see it's not about you, its all about me and you put up with that.
I wanted to drop you after the "trial period," but I can't now...now I'm to in love with you. Maybe this is what love really is, maybe it is supposed to hurt, supposed to be financially draining, and time consuming.
Fuck you NetFlix and your scandalous marketing tactics.
You offered yourself for free, no string attached, you said I could drop you whenever but now I can't. This isn't fair. My dad warned me about you but I believed I was strong. Heck, I'm Angela Kinney, the definition of independent, but you turned me into something else.
Your humor is second to none. The information you provide is like something I have never experienced. Your "thrill factor" is something I now find myself begging for. You now consume me, I think about you often, I can't wait until you show up the very next day. Despite these positive feelings I have for you, I'm stil mad. You changed me and thats not fair.
I used to be strong, independent, and unpredictible but you stripped me of all that and now I find myself weak to you, an inch worm at best. I know my feelings are true but I know you have other girls who are equally in love with you but you make me feel so special, so unique, you cater to my specific needs, you know me, you know what I like, what I don't like and you cater to that. I appreciate this but like I said, it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Everything about this is wrong. I don't have the time for you, I don't have the money for you, and I certaintly don't have the emotional support that I need to deal with all your drama, suspense, and horror. Your so wrong for me. Your Sci-Fi & fantasy is not real nor is it consistent with the way I live. Your dramatic and I'm not...see we're so incompatible so why is it that I find myself wanting you more and more? Maybe it's your convenience...I have needs and you meet them, see it's not about you, its all about me and you put up with that.
I wanted to drop you after the "trial period," but I can't now...now I'm to in love with you. Maybe this is what love really is, maybe it is supposed to hurt, supposed to be financially draining, and time consuming.
Fuck you NetFlix and your scandalous marketing tactics.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Healthcare hopeful goes "geek"
The Onion-peeled. REPORT: Healthcare hopeful goes "geek"
Durham, NC--- 23 y/o Angela Kinney, a once inspired nurse now gains national attention doing something she would have never imagined just one year ago. Kinney, whose name was only familiar to a few people outside of her hometown, Des Moines, Iowa, is now a global hero.
After months of attempting to land gainful employment in the healthcare field and no prevail Kinney remembers feeling embarrassed and humbled. "That sounds good but the truth is, I didn't feel anything. I got all doped up, watched TV and ate PB&J three times a day." Just a regular gal with an extraordinary talent.
"The day started like every other day. I woke up, showered, ate breakfast--" Excuse me, can I stop you here? I am just dying to know what a prodigy like you eats for breakfast. There is so much advertising for the best "brain" foods for breakfast. I am sure you know all about the 8 layers and cage-free organic Eggland's best? "Yeah, I have heard of those things, I prefer vodka and skittles." You mean you do the work you do without using the 8 layers? Amazing.
---"After breakfast I went to the library to read a few articles and print some things off. I attempted to open the files on my USB device and the dumb thing would not work." Uh huh, go on... "I was pissed off, I finally got it to work for seconds at a time by positioning it very strategically. I retrieved a few documents, but not all. Being mindful of my recent luck, I did not want to take any chances so I took it to best Best Buy and the geek squad. The gentleman took two butter knifes and a gavel to my USB device, shook his head twice, removed the pencil from behind his ear, scratched his neck, shifted his weight, smiled and said that it was unrepairable."
That must have been so hard. "It was, it was, but it also gave me hope....hope for employment...hope for gainful employment." Do tell...."Well I went across the street to Wal-Mart, walked straight to electronics stole 10 USB devices, PS3, a lap top, 6 iPods, and 4 Garmins. When I got home with the electronics. I set up shop. Oh I forgot a step, I paid the old man greeter $1.50 for his sweet royal blue vest then I went home. Put on the vest and some khakis and jammed out to Papa Roach- "Last Resort," and began working.
First, I made sure that all of the devices worked initially then just one by one I started destroying them---Within 5 hours I had destroyed every electronic that I stole from Wal-Mart and within a day I destroyed every electronic that I could get my hands on. Each destruction was strategic, purposeful, and awesome." You must have felt really empowered? "Oh, I felt more than empowered, I felt alive again, I felt a calling, I couldn't get enough of it....After my 52nd destruction I was convinced that I was the best. Still wearing my vest, I went to Best Buy equipped with my resume.....52 broken electronics. Without saying a word, we shook and that was it."
Kinney's boss tells us his recollection of his first encounter with Angela, "Well it was just very evident that she was far beyond anyone else. She is absolutely right, I did not have to say one word, I just saw her, saw her bag of broken electronics and knew she would be a great addition to our squad. We constantly get comments back about Angela and her dedication to her work. Let me read one of the comments that a client of her's left.
"Angela, geek squad, is by far the best. I brought in my brand new computer and just wanted assistance in installing a new software. Lo and behold she had my computer completely destroyed within minutes of me turning over most prized possession."
Tell me, did you have any hesitation in changing professions? "To be honest, yes. I am a natural leader, I always wanted to be the boss, to be the best, to have power and I worried about this profession giving me enough power to satisfy my needs. I overcame this fear when I realized that it was not just about destroying peoples expensive electronics, but it is more about destroying their life. I have the power to destroy a life time of hard work, a thesis paper due at midnight, and families only pictures of deceased relatives. It was only after I realized this that I knew this career change would be seamless. There is no greater power than being able to destroy these precious documents that are entrusted to me."
Is there a particular destruction that is most meaningful to you? "Not one in particular, they're all inspiring, but see I also have a fantastic ability to read my customers faces and judging a person's facial expression will usually indicate to me how meaningful the destruction will be. For example--I love college-age kids, I know their destruction will be powerful. When customers present to the counter sweating and frantic, those will be good too."
What is the hardest thing to destroy? "Well I am the best, I work for the most elite class of destroyers so there is nothing that me or my squad cannot destroy but some Apple products give us a run, but we ultimately destroy those as well.
There you have it folks. Standing live the worlds most decorated electronic destroyer.
Durham, NC--- 23 y/o Angela Kinney, a once inspired nurse now gains national attention doing something she would have never imagined just one year ago. Kinney, whose name was only familiar to a few people outside of her hometown, Des Moines, Iowa, is now a global hero.
After months of attempting to land gainful employment in the healthcare field and no prevail Kinney remembers feeling embarrassed and humbled. "That sounds good but the truth is, I didn't feel anything. I got all doped up, watched TV and ate PB&J three times a day." Just a regular gal with an extraordinary talent.
"The day started like every other day. I woke up, showered, ate breakfast--" Excuse me, can I stop you here? I am just dying to know what a prodigy like you eats for breakfast. There is so much advertising for the best "brain" foods for breakfast. I am sure you know all about the 8 layers and cage-free organic Eggland's best? "Yeah, I have heard of those things, I prefer vodka and skittles." You mean you do the work you do without using the 8 layers? Amazing.
---"After breakfast I went to the library to read a few articles and print some things off. I attempted to open the files on my USB device and the dumb thing would not work." Uh huh, go on... "I was pissed off, I finally got it to work for seconds at a time by positioning it very strategically. I retrieved a few documents, but not all. Being mindful of my recent luck, I did not want to take any chances so I took it to best Best Buy and the geek squad. The gentleman took two butter knifes and a gavel to my USB device, shook his head twice, removed the pencil from behind his ear, scratched his neck, shifted his weight, smiled and said that it was unrepairable."
That must have been so hard. "It was, it was, but it also gave me hope....hope for employment...hope for gainful employment." Do tell...."Well I went across the street to Wal-Mart, walked straight to electronics stole 10 USB devices, PS3, a lap top, 6 iPods, and 4 Garmins. When I got home with the electronics. I set up shop. Oh I forgot a step, I paid the old man greeter $1.50 for his sweet royal blue vest then I went home. Put on the vest and some khakis and jammed out to Papa Roach- "Last Resort," and began working.
First, I made sure that all of the devices worked initially then just one by one I started destroying them---Within 5 hours I had destroyed every electronic that I stole from Wal-Mart and within a day I destroyed every electronic that I could get my hands on. Each destruction was strategic, purposeful, and awesome." You must have felt really empowered? "Oh, I felt more than empowered, I felt alive again, I felt a calling, I couldn't get enough of it....After my 52nd destruction I was convinced that I was the best. Still wearing my vest, I went to Best Buy equipped with my resume.....52 broken electronics. Without saying a word, we shook and that was it."
Kinney's boss tells us his recollection of his first encounter with Angela, "Well it was just very evident that she was far beyond anyone else. She is absolutely right, I did not have to say one word, I just saw her, saw her bag of broken electronics and knew she would be a great addition to our squad. We constantly get comments back about Angela and her dedication to her work. Let me read one of the comments that a client of her's left.
"Angela, geek squad, is by far the best. I brought in my brand new computer and just wanted assistance in installing a new software. Lo and behold she had my computer completely destroyed within minutes of me turning over most prized possession."
Tell me, did you have any hesitation in changing professions? "To be honest, yes. I am a natural leader, I always wanted to be the boss, to be the best, to have power and I worried about this profession giving me enough power to satisfy my needs. I overcame this fear when I realized that it was not just about destroying peoples expensive electronics, but it is more about destroying their life. I have the power to destroy a life time of hard work, a thesis paper due at midnight, and families only pictures of deceased relatives. It was only after I realized this that I knew this career change would be seamless. There is no greater power than being able to destroy these precious documents that are entrusted to me."
Is there a particular destruction that is most meaningful to you? "Not one in particular, they're all inspiring, but see I also have a fantastic ability to read my customers faces and judging a person's facial expression will usually indicate to me how meaningful the destruction will be. For example--I love college-age kids, I know their destruction will be powerful. When customers present to the counter sweating and frantic, those will be good too."
What is the hardest thing to destroy? "Well I am the best, I work for the most elite class of destroyers so there is nothing that me or my squad cannot destroy but some Apple products give us a run, but we ultimately destroy those as well.
There you have it folks. Standing live the worlds most decorated electronic destroyer.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
How do you know?
How do you know when you are misusing google?
Good question, first of all I will say that google is good but it's not God. Just know that every time you choose google, there is a better option...just not as easy, free, fast, and available. You know you misuse google when you repeatedly get one of two messages, one being the message "0 results," or two being "1-99,999,999 results."
I don't know why this is happening all the time, I swear I do not plan it but it just happens. My mom, yet again makes the blog. My mom is the only person I know that can google something and get "0 results." But before you go swearing off google, know why she gets 0 results.
You just have to know that you can't type full paragraphs into google, it's just not meant for that. Consider this, your family wants to order a pizza, what do you do? Google the name of the place you want. Find the store nearest you. Call and order. 45 minutes your eating your pizza....no, no, no, not when your my mom, not when your misusing google.
Same scenario, ordering pizza. My mom will type in something like this: Where is the best deal for two large pizzas, bread sticks, desert, for delivery. My address is 803 36th st. Name is Jane. First pizza will be all cheese. Second green pepper, sausage, and mushroom. Knock hard, door bell doesn't work. ENTER
0 results.
weirdest part of it all: She looks completely shocked when nothing comes up. She even often goes on to find something/someone to blame for it. "Jack, did you pay the internet bill? For some reason this isn't working," "Laura, why don't you run down stairs and try to reset the router."
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Just Saying...
Yeah, so I do consider myself pretty laid back and relatively "chill." Not stoner chill where you have to, more than once, check the person's pulse to see if their breathing but none the less I consider myself pretty level. I don't have road rage, I don't freak out when a cashier takes their sweet time ringing up each item and if a restaurant messes up my order, I don't throw a huge fit...I will ask for a new plate but I won't demand that it will be free and tell them that I will never be going back. All this being said, I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with a few things.
Who loves pay at the pump? I love pay at the pump, I remember the day it was first invented and since then I utilize it almost exclusively. But pay at the pump is changing, and I don't like it. It used to be just that, you pay at the pump and your on your way. Today, it's more like answer 10 questions, then pay at the pump, then answer more questions and then go. Maybe I am exaggerating and it's only a few questions but the screen takes so long to recognize your answer that it is so annoying to me. For example now they all ask, "Do you want a car wash?" UM NO.."Do you want to use debit or credit?" I hate this question most because I'll always push debit and it will say something like "option not available, accepting only credit." Hey listen you stupid machine, I didn't create the "options," you offered them and I choose one..sorry my bad..lets start over. "Do you want a car wash?" Credit or Debit? Would you like a receipt? Perhaps you are hungry and would like to try our new $0.99 Taquitos? Made fresh daily. NOOO, I would like to pump and go......like you FUCKING advertise! I am sorry, but this annoys me.
Another annoying thing is I just signed up for a new credit card with Bank of America. The initial process was easy, I even filled out one of those comment cards because I was so impressed. Since getting the card in the mail, a representative calls me almost everyday with new "offers" and rewards that I am eligible for. After I deny all of them, she goes on to tell me that I am taking huge risk without signing up for the fraud protection plan. She says, "I am very vulnerable to being a victim of credit card theft, even saying that without signing up for this fraud protection plan, I will have no support for when my credit card gets stolen." Ok, lady, back up...do you know how dumb you sound? You are telling me that you are going to charge me $6.99/month and that will protect me from being responsible for any charges that I don't make? Hm, see lady I don't have any "fraud protection plan now" but if I noticed a charge on my card that I didn't make, I wouldn't pay it---because thats in my contract and its free. She say's, "So your willing to give up everything to save $6.99/month? I sit and I think about this and can't help but be weirded out. I think about all the people I see who are homeless and/ or really poor and whenever I ask them why they are poor or homeless, I have never once heard "because my credit card was stolen and I didn't spend the $6.99/month so I lost everything. Have you ever heard that? NO...have you heard someone say, "I had just enough money saved for my kids to go to college and then my credit card was stolen and now I have nothing..yeah, nothing just this card board sign and 2 packs of Bronson Lights." "Yup, I was on my way to purchase a swagger wagon when my I noticed my credit card was missing, by the time I called the credit card company, they said I had nothing, and when I got home 12 minutes later, the house was completely empty, and a note hung from the door "You should have spent $6.99/month because your credit card was stolen, we repossessed all of your things and will bull-doze your home at 1600. Needless to say I did not sign up for the fraud plan and would consider calling verizon to change my number if I felt like dealing with them and their automated messages.
Oh and just one more thought..this doesn't really bother me, it is just a fantastic observation I have made. When we think of the "poker face" and how powerful it is, we often think of professional poker players and perhaps some great game show host right? Well I want to offer another population that has, in my opinion, the "best" poker face. Airline flight personel...you know those people that you run to, sweating, and almost in tears...you finally get it out that you missed your flight and are looking to get on the next one. They say a few words, maybe, but mostly just stare at their screen and press buttons. They never make a sound like "eh, um, let's see," They never make even a slight facial expression of either hope or despair. You stand less than 3 feet away from them and cannot, despite your best effort, figure out what they see on that screen or if you will get on another flight. They keep pressing buttons and you keep standing there, tempted to ask something like, "so watcha thinking about," but you don't. You stand there and the anticipation is almost hurting but because the sensation is so intense you can't open your mouth, you can't even move. All you can do at this point is bargain with the higher being. Please God, if I can just get on the next flight, I will not have 7 beers in the next airport bar and miss my flight again, I won't even have 3 beers, actually if you get me on the next flight I will not even have one beer, I will go right to my gate and sit there.... I promise God.....)
Finally, she prints you off a boarding pass and says, "Yes, you are on the next flight, leaving at 2pm. And then all of a sudden, without stopping yourself, you do it...you ask the dumb question...you say "I got a flight?" Ah, I am so disappointed whenever I ask such a question so I am now conscious of what is happening and I challenge you to refrain from this hideus question yourselves. I promise you, you will feel much better about yourself if you do not ask the dumb question that Jeff Foxworthy makes a living off of...Here's your sign... Still frantic, you look around..and dig yourself deeper by asking, what sign? YOUR FUCKING BOARDING PASS, you idiot! Anyway, I think their poker face is amazing but what I can't figure out is if they teach them that or if that is just something they have to bring to the table as an applicant. Can't you imagine what their interview is like, "So, how would your friends describe your best poker face?" "Give me a situation that you experienced where your best poker face was successful? Because we all have them, "Tell me one weakness in your poker face?"
I'm out,
The most productive unemployed person their is, AK
Who loves pay at the pump? I love pay at the pump, I remember the day it was first invented and since then I utilize it almost exclusively. But pay at the pump is changing, and I don't like it. It used to be just that, you pay at the pump and your on your way. Today, it's more like answer 10 questions, then pay at the pump, then answer more questions and then go. Maybe I am exaggerating and it's only a few questions but the screen takes so long to recognize your answer that it is so annoying to me. For example now they all ask, "Do you want a car wash?" UM NO.."Do you want to use debit or credit?" I hate this question most because I'll always push debit and it will say something like "option not available, accepting only credit." Hey listen you stupid machine, I didn't create the "options," you offered them and I choose one..sorry my bad..lets start over. "Do you want a car wash?" Credit or Debit? Would you like a receipt? Perhaps you are hungry and would like to try our new $0.99 Taquitos? Made fresh daily. NOOO, I would like to pump and go......like you FUCKING advertise! I am sorry, but this annoys me.
Another annoying thing is I just signed up for a new credit card with Bank of America. The initial process was easy, I even filled out one of those comment cards because I was so impressed. Since getting the card in the mail, a representative calls me almost everyday with new "offers" and rewards that I am eligible for. After I deny all of them, she goes on to tell me that I am taking huge risk without signing up for the fraud protection plan. She says, "I am very vulnerable to being a victim of credit card theft, even saying that without signing up for this fraud protection plan, I will have no support for when my credit card gets stolen." Ok, lady, back up...do you know how dumb you sound? You are telling me that you are going to charge me $6.99/month and that will protect me from being responsible for any charges that I don't make? Hm, see lady I don't have any "fraud protection plan now" but if I noticed a charge on my card that I didn't make, I wouldn't pay it---because thats in my contract and its free. She say's, "So your willing to give up everything to save $6.99/month? I sit and I think about this and can't help but be weirded out. I think about all the people I see who are homeless and/ or really poor and whenever I ask them why they are poor or homeless, I have never once heard "because my credit card was stolen and I didn't spend the $6.99/month so I lost everything. Have you ever heard that? NO...have you heard someone say, "I had just enough money saved for my kids to go to college and then my credit card was stolen and now I have nothing..yeah, nothing just this card board sign and 2 packs of Bronson Lights." "Yup, I was on my way to purchase a swagger wagon when my I noticed my credit card was missing, by the time I called the credit card company, they said I had nothing, and when I got home 12 minutes later, the house was completely empty, and a note hung from the door "You should have spent $6.99/month because your credit card was stolen, we repossessed all of your things and will bull-doze your home at 1600. Needless to say I did not sign up for the fraud plan and would consider calling verizon to change my number if I felt like dealing with them and their automated messages.
Oh and just one more thought..this doesn't really bother me, it is just a fantastic observation I have made. When we think of the "poker face" and how powerful it is, we often think of professional poker players and perhaps some great game show host right? Well I want to offer another population that has, in my opinion, the "best" poker face. Airline flight personel...you know those people that you run to, sweating, and almost in tears...you finally get it out that you missed your flight and are looking to get on the next one. They say a few words, maybe, but mostly just stare at their screen and press buttons. They never make a sound like "eh, um, let's see," They never make even a slight facial expression of either hope or despair. You stand less than 3 feet away from them and cannot, despite your best effort, figure out what they see on that screen or if you will get on another flight. They keep pressing buttons and you keep standing there, tempted to ask something like, "so watcha thinking about," but you don't. You stand there and the anticipation is almost hurting but because the sensation is so intense you can't open your mouth, you can't even move. All you can do at this point is bargain with the higher being. Please God, if I can just get on the next flight, I will not have 7 beers in the next airport bar and miss my flight again, I won't even have 3 beers, actually if you get me on the next flight I will not even have one beer, I will go right to my gate and sit there.... I promise God.....)
Finally, she prints you off a boarding pass and says, "Yes, you are on the next flight, leaving at 2pm. And then all of a sudden, without stopping yourself, you do it...you ask the dumb question...you say "I got a flight?" Ah, I am so disappointed whenever I ask such a question so I am now conscious of what is happening and I challenge you to refrain from this hideus question yourselves. I promise you, you will feel much better about yourself if you do not ask the dumb question that Jeff Foxworthy makes a living off of...Here's your sign... Still frantic, you look around..and dig yourself deeper by asking, what sign? YOUR FUCKING BOARDING PASS, you idiot! Anyway, I think their poker face is amazing but what I can't figure out is if they teach them that or if that is just something they have to bring to the table as an applicant. Can't you imagine what their interview is like, "So, how would your friends describe your best poker face?" "Give me a situation that you experienced where your best poker face was successful? Because we all have them, "Tell me one weakness in your poker face?"
I'm out,
The most productive unemployed person their is, AK
Saturday, July 10, 2010
A shout out to my mom, literally....
Yeah, so I just moved to NC from Iowa and things are going well. Well things are going. I am adjusting and all that jazz but I still think its hard for my parents which is evidenced by the numerous phone calls and the messages. You know though, I do love my parents, but oh my, one thing I find baffling is the voice messages my mom leaves me. Now, I should give you all a little history on my mom. My mom is just that a mom, a professional mom and she is sure nice enough but my God I will never understand her messages.
Her messages are so annoying that it is almost worth answering the phone...yeah, its that bad. And what I don't get, most of all, is why she does this. I have learned not to even listen them and she asks why. Truth is, I can't listen to them most of the time. The messages are so long that I not only need a full battery to listen to the whole thing but I need to be in that perfect 4x4 area that receives a perfect signal. Also I don't listen to them because her messages have no objective. They are defined by at least 20 pointless sentences and inspired by no importance.
Now I do love my mom, like I said she is a nice enough lady, one couldn't hate her. But please, let me entertain you with an example of one message she left the other day and I did listen to.
First of all, she always starts the message with the sound of her yawning. I don't get that. It could be 6am, 2pm, or 10pm and I always get her yawning. ("AHHH ahh, uhh, ahh") Hi Ang this is mom, just was thinking about you. (Hard for me to believe, sounds more like she was just thinking about going to bed and wanted to get her word count in for the day and choose me as the victim)
It's about 2 pm our time, which I guess is about 3pm your time. Your probably out doing something but I'm just here thinking about you. (Ok,mom I appreciate the lesson on central time versus eastern time but come on, once is enough...you do not have to provide me with such obvious information EVERY TIME you call, and no, actually, I am doing nothing. I heard my phone, saw it was you, and deliberately choose not not answer knowing you will leave me this 6 minute message)
I visited grandma this morning. She seems to be doing well, and asked about you, I told her that you were doing good and liking NC so far. She said that is great. I went to Hy-Vee today, bought a few groceries. (Yup, mom, thats about what one would expect when someone says that they were to a GROCERY STORE) Laura just left to see a movie. I am not sure what movie but she went with a few friends. Dad is just working downstairs. I read a great book on the deck this morning. I think you would like it. Oh dang, now I can't remember what it was called. Let me look here and find it. I know just right where I left it. Ok, lets see here, not in the kitchen, well maybe I left it in my bedroom, hm, no not in my room, well dang, it was great and I know you would like it. (OK, now do you see what I mean? She doesn't leave messages, she leaves a detailed step by step of what she did/is doing. I mean I literally walked through the house with her looking for this great book that she does not remember the title of. I don't mind my mom calling, I know she cares about me, but come on, don't drag me through the day. Have some sort of objective or goal for your message)
Dang, that just makes me so mad about that book. Dad must have picked it up when he cleaned the kitchen after making chicken. (NO, dad did not touch your stupid book...see, now at this point I am getting annoyed with her message but am to invested to hang up now, knowing that if I don't listen through the whole thing and delete it, it will stay on my phone and when I want to listen to an important message, I will have to listen to this 6 min. pointless message ALL.....OVER.....AGAIN)
The chicken was very good. Not over done, just perfect. We had a salad and baked potato with it, which was all very good. You would have liked it. Well maybe you wouldn't have liked the salad because we had mushrooms on it, but you could have picked the mushrooms off if you wanted I suppose. (Great info. mom, why did you call again? OH, your getting the the point? Yes? Maybe? PLEASE GOD)
"AHH, YAAA, AHH" (yawning again) Well I better let you go now (YA THINK?, I'm exhausted now too). Just give us a call whenever you get a chance. We'll be looking forward to when you visit. Ok, love ya. Bye...(SWEET press 7 delete!) .....Oh one more thing babe (Knew it wasn't over...I JUST KNEW IT) I am just up here in the family room trying to find my show. (WHAT SHOW, I am thinking)...Ok, hmm...I thought it was on channel 8 but its not..maybe 13, let me see here. Hm..it must not be on tonight, thats a bummer. Well alright, bye Ang, love ya. DONE. IT's OVER. and it is at this point that I promise myself that from now on, I will answer the phone every time she calls to avoid this.....And I remain firm on my promise....UNTIL she calls again.
Ha, it is true though, I love my mom but also thought this was perfect "blog material"
ak
Friday, July 9, 2010
Confidence, a ten letter word learned in elementary school
I did not know how important this question would become to me, or how important it would be in my quest to make the world better, but after reading a book title "Journey of Mankind" by Stephen Oppenheimer I learned how important this would be and it offered my first big break, it validated that the question was important. Through the Journey of Mankind you learn the danger of when like species grow apart and adopt new attitudes. The reason behind this danger is competition and goal division. Furthermore when such a division, or range, of people coexist, the ability to control a population and "govern" a population is much more difficult, and even impossible. This is true today. It is impossible to control the population today. But why did this happen? And can we get back to creating common goals for people to live by? This happened naturally millions of years ago. It happened because when human life first developed, resources were scarce and it was truly "survival of the fittest." Humans set up human traps, competed for food, water, and survival. I can only imagine our first ancestors saying "Geeze, if there was just more berries and food, we could all get along. Today we have all of that, yet we do not all get along. WHY?
Now that my question was validated, I could move forward. I have this question on the top of every page in a notebook and have several ideas being influenced by experiences, literature, and the evolution of my own mind. My theory always was based on the idea that people must have been raised differently than me but to what extent I would have never imagined.
I had an AH HA moment this past week. My nephew, Judah, was born and my mind just happened to wander through the entire course of Emily and Jared's pregnancy and then the pregnancy that my own mom had with me and each of her kids. Then the pregnancies of many other people and a huge pattern was developed and I believe I have another huge lead in answering my initial question. Why is there such a range of attitudes and believes in people today?
This world can be sad if you let it. There is enough justification for any single one human to feel an "impending doom" sensation and to give up. There is evil and bad things happen. There is violence, hate, crime, and regardless of who you are, you are guaranteed to feel the affects of this at some point in your life. You will fail at least once, you will be hurt, you will be sad, you will be made fun of, ignored, judged, laid out, and challenged and these events don't make you special. Being made fun, hurt, or affected by hate and crime don't make you unique, it just makes you human. Despite the fact that your parents always told you that they never wanted to see you hurt or sad, they brought you into this world knowing that you would be. Emily and Jared knew before they got pregnant that despite how cute he is at birth, that he will face challenges throughout his life. He will fail, he will be made fun of, ignored, and judged, but they still wanted him.
Watching Emily prepare for the baby and grow more and more excited with each appointment, and with the passing of each uncomplicated day was joyful. I could, by no means, relate to how awesome it must be to have a baby grow inside of you, but I could feed off of the joy that I saw it bring her, Jared, and the rest of the family. Emily not only accepted the uncomfortable reality of having a baby inside her, but she embraced it. What a gift that is to a child, for someone to embrace you, before you were even viable. What a gift it is for a child to know that their parents accepted the world as it is and choose to bring you into it anyway. What a gift it is to come home to a place that is so prepared for you. How empowering it is for a child to know the you were worth the cost, you were worth the pain, you were worth every one of the five onzies that you soiled in one day. Mostly, how else can someone show you how much they believe in you than to willingly bring you into this world where evil is present, where bad things happen, where you will face challenges, failures, heartache, and self-doubt and believe you can meet these challenges? Emily and Jared have already given that baby the greatest gift, a gift that without, he would be nothing, confidence.
Confidence, a ten letter word learned in elementary school, but without it, you have nothing. You will not live the way I live, you will not experience the success I do. You will not have meaningful relationships instead you will be what I fear. You will commit crimes, you will judge, you will bully, you will try to take me out, you will represent the evil in the world.
It is coming together now. Preparing for the life of a new being is the BEST way to offer the world "another one for the good guys." But how many people, how many babies are born without that? So many. So many. So many evidenced by crime, overcrowded prisons, serial killers, rapist, and hatred and victims of self abuse and domestic abuse. These people don't have confidence because if they did they wouldn't feel the sensation of "impending doom," they wouldn't rely on hurting others for personal gain. They wouldn't commit hate crimes.
I think America is taking the wrong approach and not being proactive enough in regards to screening each parent before they take that baby home. We think that it will just magically grow up and be successful? How are we going to just give out the monetary needs to these people who did not prepare for their child and expect that child to be something better? I used to think that if I could talk to high school and college kids I could persuade them to work hard and be productive, I used to think that if we gave people opportunities, they would take them and grow but this isn't true. We, America, offer food stamps, education, diapers, clothes, and toys which are all ok but until we give our children the confidence to succeed, they won't and the huge range of people will continue to exist and continue to worsen the strength of this world.
I could go on forever, but trying to organize my thoughts now seem to be difficult. I just think that this whole confidence thing is so important because it is inevitable that we will face challenges but what do we do with those challenges? What do we start with? What can we always go back to? What is undebatable? For me, I faced many challenges growing up, and when self doubt entered my head, I had a counter attack, I had confidence. I could say that I know, no matter what I do and what happens, that I have at least two people who believed in me before I was viable. I know that I am Angela Kinney and I am here today. I think if each people had just that, we would be in much, much better shape and perhaps then, we could work on getting them toys, and other extra things.
AK
Monday, June 21, 2010
Hard to decipher between what is "blog worthy" and what is "not blog worthy"
Been awhile, I realized, since I have last blogged. What kept me from blogging was the constant headache I received while trying to decipher between what is and what is not blog worthy.
I moved to North Carolina, Durham to be exact, I believe that is blog worthy. I moved here in hopes of finding a job, go to grad school, and just for a change of pace. BUT until all that develops I stay busy doing whatever it is I want.
For the last two months I have done whatever I want whenever I want and surprisingly have never been more unsatisfied with my life. See, my theory has always been that happy people are productive people. Happy people have jobs, take care of their families, and serve some sort of purpose throughout the day. My theory is right, because I do not serve a purpose on a regular business day instead I just try to stay busy knowing that things will break into place and I will return to my normal self soon. I prepared myself, financially, for this opportunity and tried to prepare myself mentally but it is just harder than it sounds.
I am, however, calm and confident that things will change and sooner than later I will be begging for a break...it always comes so today I just choose to enjoy what life offers me today and what I can offer life.
I love the city of Durham and have found lots of night-life activity. I cannot wait until basketball season, I hear it is a blast. North Carolina has owned the ACC for years and it probably won't stop this year.
Well that was it, just a quick blog update. Hoping to hold off on the next blog until I get a job!
From the Duke Perkins Library, I'm out.
ak
Monday, May 24, 2010
Virtual Online Graduation Party!
Today I launch my very own virtual online graduation party. The idea came to me after being at my parents house one evening and noticing seven different invitations for graduation parties. There is no way that I can make it to all those for a variety of reasons and so that is why I thought this idea would be perfect.
Let's be completely honest here. Graduation parties are more like fundraisers than anything else. Like every fundraiser each party has a responsibility...none of which I really like. Another reason why this online party will be the bomb.
So here is the deal: I won't offer you food, drink, or a gathering place, I won't give you an awkward hug or buy a new outfit. I won't worry about the cleaning or the dishes. I won't be worried that nobody will come or worry that I will run out of food. Now, for you, you don't have to travel, buy me a lame card, give me $25, worry about what kind of food I'll have, or worry if you're the only one who will show up. This is a virtual online graduation party people. Grab your own snacks, put your comfy clothes on, put that $25 into your vacation fund and sign on!
You can watch the video or read the speech first...There is an attachment for the video. My suggestion for you is to let it "buffer" once before you really want to watch it.
MY ONLINE GRAD PARTY WRITING
(Big Sigh and smile) Oh well, I made it. Before I get to far into this, I have to thank very special people that have made this day possible.
1)Dietrich Mateschitz; The inventor of sugar free Red Bull... For giving me wings when I was convinced that I had no more in me.
2)Trek and the guys at Bike World for always keeping me tuned up and on the right path.
3)Smart Wool and PhD water for giving me just enough unwarranted reassurance to give me the confidence to succeed.
4)Steve Jobs and all the Mac products that allowed me to "look cool" during long hours in the library.
5) Subway for offering the best $5 value in town. To me a $5 footlong = 8 hours studying.
6) Last but not least, my favorite person in the world, Little Debbie, for offering the best study snacks. The pin wheels and honey buns in the morning, nutty bars evening and late night, and the seasonal cakes that serve as a consistent
motivation. I remember several times saying to myself, "I can't wait until the Christmas cakes come out, that means its
almost winter break"!
No, in all seriousness, it is the real life people, or my "virtual friends" that have made this possible. I don't feel comfortable saying that obtaining a college degree is "easy" for anyone and it offers unique challenges to each one of its takers, but for me it seemed even more difficult at times.
For 18 years, just showing up was good enough. It was not until after high school that I learned the "No child left behind" law was not longer applicable and just showing up wasn't going to cut it. This was my first challenge.
It is funny because when I started college I knew everything and now that I am done, I feel like I know nothing. That's convenient eh? Ah well, college wasn't always easy for me and there were several times throughout the last 5 years that I didn't think I would go back the next semester. I didn't always know what I wanted to do and I was spending a lot of money trying to figure it out. I saw a clip on TV with a financial guru and he said something that stuck out to me. "All you do throughout life is spend money while trying to figure out what your going to do." "The only difference is how much money you have to play with will determine how much you figure out....made sense at the time......3am hungover...now I write it out, and it doesn't seem quite right. Oh well.
This is actually a true story though, I wrote this on 7/9/2008 415pm Well today is the day I break the news. I am not going to college in the fall. I just need a break from it. I am going to tell my parents tonight. I think they will be ok with it actually, it will be a good break for them too. I know I'll go back eventually but its just not for me right now.
7/9/2008 1114pm
From the events that occurred today, one would easily suggest that I suffer from a mental illness...most likely in the bipolar spectrum. I am going to college in the fall, I will graduate in 2 years, and thats that.
I was in the family room, pumping myself up to tell my parents. As I start talking, my dad asks for the remote, frustrated. I leave and go to the bathroom to buy me some time. I was my hands and look in the mirror and said quietly "I just need a break, I don't want to go to school in the fall." Stood there. Then asked myself, "What do you think Ang." The world stopped. And I involuntarily said.
"I think your fucked in the head, your two years away from the fucking degree and you want to bail out? Well I'll tell you
something, this is no longer a goal, it's a quest, a quest for a degree. I"m going to get the degree, ya'll are gunna be there
and we're all going to have so much fucking fun we'll have to have plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. We'll
all be singing zippidy Doo Daa out of our assholes."
Chevy Chase the single most influential person in my life to date. He is just consistently awesome. Ok people, thats it...you can leave now...and we don't even have to take a picture or wait for someone to move their car because they parked behind you!
Thanks,
AK
The video is on another post! Sorry.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
North Carolina
I wanted to post this from North Carolina but could not find consistent internet access at the time. Instead, I scribbled a few one liners on several different pieces of Duke paraphernalia in belief that I would update when I could. I know, retrospectively, this update will not be nearly as accurate as it would have been if written immediately but if I remember my mindset I can get close.
I was definitely down. All of the typical fears were present but then it turned debilitating. I became obsessed with feeling hopeless. I felt convinced that I couldn't get a job in the Duke Health System and that alone was worrisome to me. I felt starred at and embarrassed. I felt like everyone knew that I wasn't a student and wondered why I was in the student center for a half dozen hours each day. My "perfect" apartment prospect was determined, by me, to be untouchable related to the price and practicality. I felt broke and worried that I had worked so hard to save money for nothing. I was searching for a change of mood and even contemplated buying a tall adult beverage to see if that would initiate a change of mood, but I didn't. I was begging for the "cocky," "confident", "positive," AK to come out of nowhere and slain the the Angela that would make it nowhere.
I write a lot, not on this blog, but in general. A lot of times I start with writing, "My name is Angela Kinney but that says nothing about me." I wrote that almost involuntarily this time and found it to be most relative due to my location and the distance between where my name would at least be recognized. I always find it helpful to write in the opposite mindset that you are currently feelings...actually this was a tip I read by James Weldon Johnson. Johnson was later determined to have multiple personality disorder but diagnosis that fall on Axis I are irrelevant to me, especially when evaluating a persons writing style.
I know that I will be a good nurse. I also know that when the opportunity arises Duke Health System will benefit from hiring me....I am notorious for making snacks and offering them to everyone...they will benefit.
I know that I have saved up enough money for several months, almost a year, of conservative living expenses so the feeling of being broke was irrational and can be easily disregarded. Feeling of broke = eradicated.
I know that I graduated Friday and that my transcripts have not even been evaluated. I have not taken NCLEX, and have not been approved for licensure in North Carolina. This being written out, I see and better understand that the fact I don't have a job yet is perfectly normal and shouldn't be too concerning. Feelings of "never getting a job" = justified and normal.
Ok, anyway I guess my point of this particular blog is just how awesome writing is. I went from the feelings described in the first paragraph to walking away with new energy and a new approach. Weird, I really thought I had a great story, post here, and I guess all it amounts to is me thinking that writing is cool...I am a loser!
ha, I'm out people...well maybe pleural isn't appropriate because I think my friend Caroline is the only person who reads these wacky post. Regardless, I'm still going to bed.
AK
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Life is just a long continuum of change..AK update
Whether people are just being nice, if if they actually care is irrelevant to me because it offers a perfect blog post.
I am graduating in one week and to prepare for all that comes with that, I quit my full-time job. My "going out" party was provided by the staff in the Mercy ER and was a peanut butter theme...perfect! The spread consisted of scotch-a-roos, NUTTY BARS, peanut butter and bagels, puppy chow, peanut brittle, and a lot more! It was great and at the end of the shift most everyone indicated that they wanted to have some sort of update so here it is people...2 weeks out.
Technical Stuff
1) jobless
2) homeless (effective 5/31)
3) I have a very strategic plan in regards to spacing out the remaining nutty bars that I received at my "leaving" party at work...the plan is they will last at least until 5/1 because my grocery budget for april is expired.
Less Technical Stuff
1) I sleep 9+ hours a night now!
2) I eat three, somewhat balanced, meals at the appropriate time of day and feel amazing!
3) I have ridden over 120 miles on my bike
4) Visited the Amana Colonies! This has been on my "to do" list since December and it was great.
5) Went to Bandanas, a bar-b-que joint, with my parents and was able to enjoy lunch pricing on a SATURDAY (A big deal because I used to only work weekends)
6) Bought a pogo stick and make it a point to get in 50 continuous jumps everyday.
7) Went golfing...kind of.
8) Harassed my dad for some clubs and bought an old big bertha Callaway driver at an auction....380CC....if that means anything to anyone...460CC is the max. allowed legally.
9)Went to Jordan Creek mall for the first time since Christmas...nothing to miss there besides the apparent birth control problem in WDM...geeze, there were a lot of babies and toddlers in that place.
10) Deep cleaned my apartment..I mean deep cleaned. Washed the walls, floors, dusted, moved all the furniture to sweep underneath it, ect. This initiated the next big step I took....bought light bulbs and hangers for the first time. My apartment now has light, but I still utilize my headlamp whenever possible.
Well thats an AK update...
Future plans/travels
May 1-4: NC
objectives:
Find an apartment and sign a lease beginning 6/1
Find a job of any kind (outdoors preferably!) I applied to be a seasonal/part-time grounds crew at Duke University.
Come home and take boards
Learn I pass boards.
Pack my jeep.
Snag some snacks at Dahls and find I-80 E..........
20 hours later, find that same apartment that I signed the lease on and enter and park.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
10 guilty pleasures
I assume vulnerability when I discuss my ten guilty pleasures but they serve a very real purpose in my life. The last month has been hectic, working full time, going to school full time, and having to serve 100 hours of preceptorship. Because I am notorious for being a procrastinator the last six weeks, preparing for graduation, have been a challenge and, I believe, permit the utilization of "guilty pleasures." I will list my top ten guilty pleasures in no particular order. If you have not read my first blog, please refer to the ground rules----don't judge me...
1) $5 worth of scratch tickets--I don't really care to ever be rich and I would be embarrassed if I won but they provide me with a sense of excitement and thrill.
2) Taco Johns- 6 pack and a pound....long 12 hour study days get my appetite as good as it ever is and I crave Taco Johns 6 pack and pound. This is almost ALWAYS two meals but I have been known to knock it out in one setting.
3) 2-Liter of Pepsi Max. I rarely buy soda because it is expensive and non-purposeful but in tiring times, knowing that I have a 2-liter of pepsi Max at home waiting for me always gets me pumped up and I find it encouraging.
4) Take 5 candy bar--No real explanation needed, they are just the bomb.
5) Sugar free red bull--I think this was mostly a work thing because I never crave it or want it when I am not at work but I do, fork over the $2.62 for a sugar free red bull every shift...which is bad for the budget but when we are talking about "guilty pleasures," budgets are ultimately ignored.
6) Dahls cafe breakfast, more specifically a giant waffle from Dahls cafe. I used to be a loyal Saturday customer at Dahls because I always had a coupon for $2 off any regular price item...courtesy of of the value books. I loved the nice elderly people and always learned something by sitting and eating breakfast with them...very refreshing.
7) Buying wii games....I love buying, or just getting, new wii games or any games really but sometimes, my conscious breaks down and I choose not to wait for a birthday or Christmas and go buy it STAT.
8) Tan..I know this will surprise some of you but yes, I do spend 12 minutes in a tanning bed twice a month between Nov-April. I believe in "winter blues" and I am certainly not immune. I am an outdoor junkie and I HATE being cold. Tanning helps me during the winter.
9) McDonalds 2 for $1 apple pies. Nothing fancy but I just do love them!
10) backpacks....I am getting better but I am a sucker for, what I think, are "sweet backpacks" and I have several! I do try to rotate them all but I am partial to a few of my favorites...
There you go...ak's guilty pleasures...what are yours?
Thursday, April 1, 2010
favorite time of year
Any morning that I can go outside and not be in pain related to the weather is a good day and definitely permits spending extra time outside.
Few thoughts about the awesome weather...
If all winter you swore you'd take a trip to get out of iowa because of the weather...still take it despite the nice weather.
Grilling...
Unless you a seasoned grill master, start the season with hot dogs and polish sausage..don't get a fancy Guy Firrar recipe and set yourself up for a grilling disaster.
If you are "grilling out,"...entertain out. Have outside activities for your guest or your family to do
while the food is being cooked..this adds to the experience and some examples include Bags,
frisbee, playing catch, side walk chalk, ect, ect...
First grill session, go all out...buy the party dip even though it will be gone in 30 minutes and if you
know your guests like certain condiments, buy them.
Spring/Summer vacation...
1Determine your budget.
2Plan a date.
3Only include people that you want to vacation with...don't feel obligated to invite "extras" if you know they will ruin your trip.
4Save a X amount of money each week until that planned date and GO...get out of here...go on a vacation whether your budget allows for a camping trip to Jester Park, a road trip to KC, or a cruise through the Bahamas...set a date and go..and love it..don't be embarrassed because you think your vacation isn't good enough...Remember, mind over mater.
i'm out,
the grill master, AK.......hotdogs and polish tonight.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
challenge or bust...
I am preparing and contemplating what the "best answer" is to the question, "what makes you different?"
I have a lot of ideas but none of which are completely satisying to me. First of all according to Myers-Briggs I am an INTJ--a personality type that makes up less than 1% of the world. I want to use that but I also feel like the Myers-Briggs personality test is not always well received especially if interviewed by a skeptic.
I believe I am different because I think of challenges in life as the only way to achieve maximum satisfaction and happiness. I have asked many people what they think of when they think of a challenge and many of them think of it as a nuisance, a phenomena that gets in the way of happiness rather then, what I think it is, a catalyst for happiness.
The greatest gifts I have received in life came in the form of a challenge. There have many times in my life where I have been a loser, an underachiever, an irratant, and noncompliant. There have been times where I choose not to work my hardest, I have been disrespectful and rude to my parents and to others and I have deliberatly choosen to be selfish, unkind, and attention seeking. In every scenario I was challenged to be better. I was challenged and I responded. I was challenged and conditioned. I was challenged and as a result have experienced a happier, and more satisfying life. The same effect that I want to offer people. Every athlete will tell you that if a coach yells at you, it means they see potential in you and want you to be better. Just as in life, if a teacher yells at you and disciplines you for not turning in your homework or not studying for an exam, it means they care about you.
I want to offer the greatest gift, a challenge, everyday. I will be graduate as a registered nurse next month and will seek out job opportunities that allow me to challenge my patients to be the best that they can be that day. I want to be in a position where I can tell them that they are acting in a pathetic way that is not compatible with the life I want for them. I want to reshape the current healthcare model and revisit tradional the "done to death" core values that almost every institute and organized entity operates from and find a home for the core value, challenge. I care about people differently then most. I care about people and their potential.
I am so very disatisfied in the lack of challenges we provide our youth today. In 1605 Sir Francis Bacon warned all people that "knowledge is power" and without knowledge one will die as an unpriviledged slave to your ownself. 1605!!! We knew over 400 years ago the importance of education..we should have this absolutely mastered and all people should be education to the maximum of their potential. Instead we have the brilliant idea that persons can decide for themselves, at the mature age of 16, to drop out of highschool. No child left behind? Another brain-e-ack idea that not only doesn't challenge a person to learn...it slows the progression of everyone else in the class. How does it get this bad? I mean this is really truly bad.
I am different because I believe that knowledge is power and I believe that without your health you have nothing. I am giving myself 10 years. I will get the highest possible degree in nursing and will work tirelessly to make a difference and enfore the importance of challenging each person to be in their best health and to pursue as much education as they can. If in 10 years I feel I have made no difference I will either leave healthcare and buy my dad's business or leave the country.
I am AK and I am different.
I have a lot of ideas but none of which are completely satisying to me. First of all according to Myers-Briggs I am an INTJ--a personality type that makes up less than 1% of the world. I want to use that but I also feel like the Myers-Briggs personality test is not always well received especially if interviewed by a skeptic.
I believe I am different because I think of challenges in life as the only way to achieve maximum satisfaction and happiness. I have asked many people what they think of when they think of a challenge and many of them think of it as a nuisance, a phenomena that gets in the way of happiness rather then, what I think it is, a catalyst for happiness.
The greatest gifts I have received in life came in the form of a challenge. There have many times in my life where I have been a loser, an underachiever, an irratant, and noncompliant. There have been times where I choose not to work my hardest, I have been disrespectful and rude to my parents and to others and I have deliberatly choosen to be selfish, unkind, and attention seeking. In every scenario I was challenged to be better. I was challenged and I responded. I was challenged and conditioned. I was challenged and as a result have experienced a happier, and more satisfying life. The same effect that I want to offer people. Every athlete will tell you that if a coach yells at you, it means they see potential in you and want you to be better. Just as in life, if a teacher yells at you and disciplines you for not turning in your homework or not studying for an exam, it means they care about you.
I want to offer the greatest gift, a challenge, everyday. I will be graduate as a registered nurse next month and will seek out job opportunities that allow me to challenge my patients to be the best that they can be that day. I want to be in a position where I can tell them that they are acting in a pathetic way that is not compatible with the life I want for them. I want to reshape the current healthcare model and revisit tradional the "done to death" core values that almost every institute and organized entity operates from and find a home for the core value, challenge. I care about people differently then most. I care about people and their potential.
I am so very disatisfied in the lack of challenges we provide our youth today. In 1605 Sir Francis Bacon warned all people that "knowledge is power" and without knowledge one will die as an unpriviledged slave to your ownself. 1605!!! We knew over 400 years ago the importance of education..we should have this absolutely mastered and all people should be education to the maximum of their potential. Instead we have the brilliant idea that persons can decide for themselves, at the mature age of 16, to drop out of highschool. No child left behind? Another brain-e-ack idea that not only doesn't challenge a person to learn...it slows the progression of everyone else in the class. How does it get this bad? I mean this is really truly bad.
I am different because I believe that knowledge is power and I believe that without your health you have nothing. I am giving myself 10 years. I will get the highest possible degree in nursing and will work tirelessly to make a difference and enfore the importance of challenging each person to be in their best health and to pursue as much education as they can. If in 10 years I feel I have made no difference I will either leave healthcare and buy my dad's business or leave the country.
I am AK and I am different.
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